Night Sky

If you've been reading my blog, you know Maddy has woken up many times in the middle of the night letting out blood curdling screams. If you've been reading my blog you know Maddy, like most toddlers, despise bed time. The older she gets the worse her fear/anxiety gets. Here lately she has been wanting her door open and the hall light on. In her defense I will say her room is extra dark and as an adult I myself want some kind of light in there. I meant to grab a night light at the store but totally forgot. In the mean time I had been giving her my flashlight, which she loved, but she keeps it on all night so by morning there is no battery left. I don't know about you all but I certainly can't afford to buy two batteries for 365 days. I decided to look on Amazon to see what they had because I knew they could ship it faster than if I waited for the weekend. I had planned on going with the kind you plug in the wall and even started preparing her for it. I stumbled across one that caught my eye. It's a Kinderglo portable night light and comes in different animals. It is SO neat! I got it today and she is LOVING her new light.

These are the different kinds. We got the moon one...it's actually called "Quarter Moon." I chose that one because she could easily carry it or hold it. It also changes different colors, but it isn't too bright. I was actually worried it wouldn't be bright enough but it's just perfect. I just went to go check on her and she was all kicked back in her bed with her light right beside her.

Not a great picture I know but you get the point. She calls it her night sky and I thought that was adorable :)

Birthday Fun

My niece's birthday is February 1. I felt so bad for her because with my other niece she had to wait over a month to celebrate her birthday due to sickness in the family. I joked with my older niece and asked her if she was sure she didn't want to postpone her party. She laughed but quickly said NO! Well, her original party did get delayed due to more sickness in the family. We finally had her party today and it was a blast! We used our church's indoor play area. All the kids had a blast.

After our time was up the whole family packed up and headed to Ichiban, a Japanese restaurant. I guess I should have added that I chose to start the military 3 day diet today because I didn't realize we were going to eat. I had done so good all day until dinner. Looks like I will be starting my day 1 again on Monday :)

Maddy is so scared of the fire when the get the grill going. I was hoping she had grown out of that, but it petrifies her. Now all she is talking about is the fire lol. She seemed to like all her food. She even made her own concoction that was disgusting! She poured the white sauce into the soup and actually ate it saying it was yummy. Yuck!

What you can't tell from this picture is the meltdown we had prior to this. She has had no nap today on top of playing her heart out for two straight hours on top of waiting 20-30 minutes before we could even sit down. She kept telling me she was ready to go eat. All I had on me was candy and she was starving and tired. She was banging her fork on her plate, on the table, on the menu, and then ended up poking me. I did not let her keep banging her fork due to germs and her possibly breaking the plate. She then wouldn't sit down in her seat and then she just lost it. My uncle had an extra pack of goldfish on him and that got her to eventually calm down. I told her she could pour them out on her plate and use her fork to eat them because the whole fit stemmed from her not being able to have her fork. It was rather interesting and felt like all eyes were on us.

She liked the soup, but it was a bit spicy for her. She wanted to eat it though. She also tried the salad, but she got a big glob of ginger dressing and I'm sure it didn't taste too good.

This happened soon after the fire. She sat like that for the longest time. She then watched a little more as the chef caught an egg in his pocket and then cooked. She wanted to get down because she was so tired, so my step dad cuddled with her.

Once it was time to leave she decided she wanted to climb back in her seat and eat. I finally was able to convince her to put the rest in a box to take home. Yes, I did let her eat lol. She was playing with her soup concoction but did not want to put her food up. Needless to say when we got home she went straight to bed. I let her play computer in bed on Friday and Saturday nights. Tonight she played only a few minutes before I heard it turn off and all has been quiet. Now it's time for me to clean and hopefully get some decent sleep :)

A Day In My Life

I actually did this last year. It was a lot more awkward to do than I thought lol. I was still living at home with my mom and step dad, so that made it even more awkward. Me and Maddy now have our own place and our lives are different. I'm going to write out a normal week day schedule, then post the video I made last year to help make this post not so boring.

Unfortunately I do not have the privilege to be a stay at home mom. That has been THE hardest thing for me to let go of. I am, however, so very thankful God has provided a job for me and He has continued to provide for our needs along the way. I generally keep my alarm set for 6:45 a.m. I am a work at home employee, so I am able to start my day later than if I had to work in the office. I am also very thankful for this  opportunity. I rarely actually make it up at 6:45 a.m. I tend to get up anywhere from 7:30-7:50 a.m. I always run myself late because we really need to be out the door by 8:30 a.m. I wake Maddy up the second I get up. I always tell her good morning and give her hugs. I then get her clothes ready for the day while she goes potty. She is very talkative once she is fully awake and talks nonstop. Once she is dressed we go into the living room and turn on the tv. She loves having waffles for breakfast, so that is what we stick with. Once her waffles are done I get her chocolate milk and brush her hair. By this time it's around 8:10 a.m. Once she is all ready I get myself ready and Maddy gets her an animal to sleep with. I do not worry with make up because I am not a morning person and would rather have my sleep as opposed to getting all dressed up for nothing lol. I brush my teeth and my hair and then throw on some comfy clothes. We do pretty good to get out the door by 8:25 a.m. It takes roughly 25-30 minutes to get to her daycare. I always dread dropping her off because here lately she has THE worst separation anxiety. She will take my keys and not give them back, or she won't take off her jacket, or she won't put her animal in her cubby because she knows if she doesn't do that I can't leave. The routine at school is they put their stuff up and the parents help them wash their hands and then say their goodbyes. Here lately I am unable to get her to wash her hands and her teacher has to get her off me and let me leave before they can get her hands washed. It is so hard leaving like that, but I know she is ok once I leave. After I drop her off I go back to work. I generally log in around 9:30 a.m. I am an hourly employee so I have time to get in. I am also on year round overtime usually so my work week ends up being 48-50 hours year round. I am thankful for the money, but it is so exhausting! I don't get to take a normal lunch because I spend my lunch time taking Maddy to daycare. I work until 5:15 p.m. and then fix her a snack and drink and go pick her up. I usually arrive at her daycare around 5:45 p.m. and she is SO excited to see me. She always asks what I brought her to eat in the car. I've learned not to tell her until she is buckled in her car seat because there have been times I told her inside daycare and she just pitched a fit because it wasn't what she wanted. We get home around 6:15 p.m. and I fix her dinner and she watches tv. Once she eats I go back to work. When she gets done eating she usually plays until time for bed. Her bed time is 7:30 p.m. We read a book and rock and then she hops into bed. I generally start working again by 8:00 p.m. depending on how long it takes to get her in bed. I work from 8-10 p.m. I either clean or work out or do nothing when I am done with work. I typically don't get into bed until midnight.

Reward Day

I'm still trying to figure out this whole "spirited child" thing. Whether you have a spirited kid or not I firmly believe in positive reinforcement. That's where the whole pinterest idea comes into play. I started the coin system with Maddy on Monday night. The problem I had is I knew if she had to wait until the whole bag filled up she would lose interest. I remembered the system we had in place with the student I used to work with. His mom brought in a lot of prizes to put in a chest and we called it his treasure chest. If he earned a sticker everyday during the week he could get a prize. I have decided for now that is what Maddy needs. It's attainable and she loves earning her coins. Instead of waiting for the bag to fill up or for part of the bag to fill up I decided if she got at least one coin a day she could earn a prize. I'm not made of money and I can't afford to go buy up a bunch of toys at once to stick in a chest. I'm going to look in consignment sales and my mom is going to help out some. Then at the end of the month if she has at least 31 coins I will take her to the toy store and let her pick out something there...within budget of coarse lol.

She did so well this week! I was amazed at how different she was being. I still have a lot to learn but what I've learned so far has been working. She even stayed home one day this past week and she was borderline going into melt down mode, but I was able to pull her out of it before she began. I told her if she earned her coin on Friday that she could go to the toy store to get her surprise. She did earn her coin, so when I picked her up we headed straight to Toys R Us. I gave her some choices in the car and at first she said play dough then she changed her mind and wanted a Donald movie. I really didn't want her to choose a movie so once we got in the store I tried pointing out things and she decided she wanted a new game for her "computer" (leap pad 2). She looked at all the games and then chose a Dora one.

I really wanted her to choose play dough because it's a good calming activity for when she starts to boil up, but it was her decision and this is what she chose. She needed a new game for her computer. It was starting to get boring lol. This game is a bit difficult for her and I figured it would because it's for ages 4-7. She picked up on it pretty fast, but still needed help navigating a little bit.

The book that I'm reading helps parents have a different mind set and really helps them understand what is going on. I did a pretty good job this week myself and decided I should reward myself too lol. I'm an avid movie lover. Have been for a long time. I fell in love with Lady and the Tramp (so did Maddy) that I wanted to start building up my Disney collection. I researched what Disney movies are best for Toddlers because I know most of them have scary scenes. The next movie I was going to buy was Cars. I love that movie. Toys R Us has really dwindled down their movie selection and Blu-Ray was even worse. I really like getting the Blu-Ray/DVD combo. I had to rethink what movie I would get. I have yet to see Horton Hears a Who and they had that on DVD. I had it in my hand until I found the Disney collection. I had such a hard time deciding...there was Mary Poppins, Toy Story, Cars, Fox and the Hound, and others. I had Maddy help me decide. She chose Fox and the Hound. I started to get a second movie, but decided I really wanted to wait to get the Blu-Ray combo. The Fox and the Hound was a good decision because it included the first movie and the second movie for the same price as one movie cost. Sure, I'd rather have it on Blu-Ray combo but it's such a sad movie to me that I'm okay only having a DVD copy lol. I love Todd and Copper and the message behind it is great. I just don't like that Todd's mother gets killed :( Then there's the scene where Tweed decides to release Todd into the forest and he's all alone once again. I seriously feel so sad.

I told my mom which movie I got and that I would be crying all night cause it makes me so sad. She told me to watch a video I had shown her that is HILARIOUS!

I'm sure most of you have seen this by now, but I think it's just hilarious. I had to watch it in the middle of the movie and it instantly made me forget about the movie. I know...why get the movie if it makes me sad? I love the movie and I want Maddy to enjoy it. She had already seen it at church. There is a scary part in it, but Lady and the Tramp has a scary part too and she does ok. I just know I can't get The Little Mermaid for a while because Ursula might look like a monster to Maddy. I cannot WAIT to get more Disney movies...they are classic!

Dreams In the Making

This is a post for me to have to look back on. It has to do with my dream of going in the daycare business. It's amazing how God works everything out. Never in a million years would I think it would go in the direction it was going. I won't be too specific just yet for a couple of reasons. I met a good friend roughly 9 years ago...I can't remember when I started working as a paraprofessional. She had worked in a daycare setting before, but she said it wasn't really for her. As life happens we ended up going our separate ways. We didn't stop being friends, but when I left my job we just didn't couldn't get our schedules together to hang out. She was newly married and we were just on different paths. I found out November 2008 that she was finally expecting her first child. I remember that phone conversation as if it were yesterday. I don't remember everything that was said, but I remember being in the front bedroom of the house I was renting pacing back and forth. I remember telling her it's a shame we couldn't be pregnant together. Little did I know just two to three months later I would find out I was pregnant with my first. Our lives got back on the same track and we kept in touch and talked pregnancy and baby talk. We met up a time or two after the kids were born but our lives got so hectic talking was so far and in between. I don't remember the date although if I would take the time to look back through my blog I could figure it out because I went home and blogged about it without saying out right what I was talking about. It was sometime last year we met at Chili's and she told me she was pregnant with twins. I was an emotional wreck that day and just lost it. I could not stop crying. I felt so bad because her huge smile quickly turned into worry thinking she had upset me. I remember leaving that day and immediately called my mom on the way home and lost it with her too. She talked to me and pointed out that somehow my friend was going to play a part in my daycare dream. I agreed in the moment, but as months went on I dismissed it because nothing was happening. Out of nowhere I get a text from her this past Friday ( February 15) asking about daycare stuff. Once again the tears started to come, but I held them back. I was so excited to have gotten that text that I was bouncing off the walls. Yeah, if you read my "Spirit" post you will understand when I say I think I may have been a "spirited" child myself lol. I really don't know what God has planned as far as this goes, but right now I am being taken down a path. I see hope for my dream turning into a reality and honestly going into business with my friend would a blessing. It's not something that will happen this year and there are definitely some concerns with finances but it's like I told her if this is what God wants the finances will be taken care of. God works in mysterious ways for sure and I'm excited to see how this story plays out :)

Valentine's Day 2013

Maddy had a great Valentine's Day. I woke her up and immediately handed her her presents. I felt so bad for her because she had stayed up real late the night before and was still so sleepy. I walked in and was a bit surprised at how I found her.

She was completely sideways with her legs hanging off. It was quite cute, although I'm sure as she gets older she will be quite embarrassed of this picture lol. She also had some serious bed head...

She loves to turn the light on and put it up against her ear. It makes a vibrating sound. She is having a hard time hearing. She's not deaf, but you have to talk kind of loud for her to hear you. I've tested it out and my normal talking voice she can not hear. There are times she will ask me to tell her in her ear. Yeah, I'm calling the doctor for an appointment soon. 

I thought this cup was so neat. I really wanted it to be Mickey Mouse but beggar's can't be choosers :)

This little guy sings a song...I can't remember the name of it but the word higher is in there lol. As the song sings the giraffe goes up to show the "I love you" hearts then goes back down. It's pretty cute!

Of coarse Valentine's Day is not complete without a heart full of chocolates.

 This is her school Valentine's box. Last year we had to make the box at home. This year we just had to supply the box and then they decorated it in class. It was cute and I love the idea of making the hole bigger.

 As you can see she racked up on Valentine's.

 That was a clever one that I thought was neat.

 I couldn't leave Manny out. Poor buddy just got extra lovin since he can't really have any treats. I think he was ok with the extra love though :)

Spirit

It looks like I will be adding a new topic to my blog...the spirited child. From the moment Maddy was born, actually even before she was born, she did and still does everything with intensity. She never kicked much when I was pregnant, but when she did it hurt! I joked saying it was all the Tae-Bo I did but whatever it was, it was powerful. When she slept she slept so intently...it was as if she had a purpose she was fulfilling. She was a great baby. I've only had one but honestly she was super easy. I struggled with things I didn't see other parents struggling with. Maddy did not like to be confined to anything. I know there are other babies that struggled with the same thing...I get it...but Maddy's struggle just seemed so different. If she was in her carseat she screamed nonstop, unless you could swing her in it or the car was going. If you were swinging her in it, it had to be a hard swing...no little swing...nope..I mean a high fast swing. She would not ride in her stroller. It was then that I realized she had a fear of heights so that was explainable. Most of her baby and early toddler days had an understandable reasoning for her behavior. She was tired, she was hot, she was hungry, she was thirsty, etc. This past weekend is when my eyes really opened up and I got this gut wrenching feeling that something was wrong. As a baby she never had any separation anxiety. She has severe separation anxiety now. Leaving her at school or her sunday school at church is a major process. I've always assumed it was because we moved into our new place back in July and she was just unsure. Transitions are hard on her. Getting out of the house is a process. I know most toddlers don't want to get in the car...I get that. Maddy will go into these major tantrums to where I look at her and wonder where in the world that anger came from. She responds well to timers for the most part so I'm thinking I need to start using them for when we need to transition to something else. This past Saturday she was having a good time playing. It was getting late and it was time for her to go to bed. Normally I can catch her before she throws her fits, but there was no catching the fit this time. I mean she was hitting me, trying to hit Manny, stomping her foot and yelling to the top of her lungs NO! STOP! If I tried talking to her it sent her over the edge even more. I mean she was literally going crazy in that moment. I honestly had no idea what in the world I needed to do to get her to calm down. I learned some calming techniques when I worked with my special needs student years ago that I was tempted to try to do on her. One of those techniques is putting a lot of weight on their head...like pushing down with your hands. The problem is you have to bear down hard and I didn't think I could do it hard enough to where it would work and if I couldn't it would have sent her into a more belligerent state. I looked over and found Manny hunkered down under her bed just shaking like a leaf due to her melt down. I finally got him out of the room and then had to leave myself. My leaving upset her even more and she screamed saying, "DON'T LEAVE MOMMY!!!" I did tell her that she needed to calm down and I would come right back. She sat on her bed and screamed and cried for about five minutes. The minute she stopped I went in there and loved on her. After that incident her mood switched and it was as if nothing had happened. It's hard to describe in words her mood swings, but my mom has seen them herself and agreed that it's not a normal three year old tantrum. I woke up Sunday morning and found myself researching bipolar disorder in toddlers. To my surprise there was some information out there about it and it described Maddy. I was dead set on taking her to the doctor to see if they diagnose it this young and to get some help. It was heavy on my mind all day Sunday. I started panicking a little as I started thinking about the teenage years. Monday morning rolled around and I decided to do a little more research on bipolar toddlers. I ran across a forum on Parenting that was real moms with this very real issue. Some said it was just a normal toddler thing while others said doctors don't diagnose it this young. There were two comments that stuck out in my mind. The first being this woman thought her 2 year old was bipolar and had no resources for help because the doctor just told her it was just a toddler thing. This woman didn't find any help until her daughter was in the 5th grade and she ran across this book "Raising Your Spirited Child." The other comment that stuck out in my mind is a doctor prescribed a 4 year old bipolar medication. The parents kept insisting she raise the dosage and she finally gave in and up'd her medication. The 4 year old died and the doctor lost her license and the parents possibly charged with the death of their daughter. The person went on to say that bipolar medicine is only tested on adults so who knows what all it does to kids. That to me is scary. I didn't want Maddy on medicine, but I did want some help on calming techniques. I decided to check out the book Raising Your Spirited Child and honestly, the author describes Maddy to a tee! I bought from my phone and instantly started reading it. Before I felt overwhelmed and scared. As I read I'm finding that I feel less overwhelmed and scared and more okay with things. I am feeling like I will gain the confidence I need to get Maddy through this...to help her. I'm reluctant to read just any parenting book...especially if it doesn't have Christian principles. Actually, I hate to read period. This book is insightful and gives me hope. So far what I've learned is instead of having or thinking negative thoughts about her behavior...such as she's strong willed, loud, demanding...I think she's persistent, vibrant or dramatic, and assertive. Once you change your thought process you can help your child better. Again, I'm not good at putting this all into words but the book is helpful and I like that they go with a positive thought process instead of negative. I haven't quite gotten to the what do you do when section...if there is one. So far I've just learned more about Maddy and learned new ways of thinking. So when she wants to help with something that she can't instead of just saying no I need to say, "Maddy you are such a great helper. You are also very persistent which is great! I would let you get the peanut butter, however, it's already out so can you help mommy by getting the jelly?" Now she probably would say no to that but I'm hoping the book goes on to tell you how to handle it when they still keep insisting they do whatever it is they want to do. I will share a few pages of the book.

I am already putting some ideas to use. Before all this happened I ran across something on pinterest that I love!

I felt like for Maddy a fish bowl would be too long in between rewards for it to be effective, so I am currently using a ziploc bag. I decided to use real coins because she knows what money is and you have to have money to buy fun things. Some days she's all about earning her coins, other days...not so much. I have started to use a timer now when we get home and tell her how many minutes she has before bed or bath time and let her see the timer going. The past two nights SHE has actually come to me to tell me she was ready for bed. I think it also helps that I started going back to our normal routine we've had ever since she was a baby. I had quit reading her a book every night...we would only read on the weekends due to my work schedule. I have since started our bed time routine a little earlier so we could read. I think she needs that time to wind down. She has never been one to stay up real late, but lately she had been staying up till 11 or 11:30 p.m. Since we've started our routine again she has only stayed up an hour later from when I leave. I am still learning and still am unsure how to handle her telling me no and her melt downs, but I have already seen SO much improvement. The goal is progress not perfection. If you have a "spirited" kid please know there is hope and there are solutions. I feel very thankful to have found this book and have already gained a better understanding of Maddy.