Spirit

It looks like I will be adding a new topic to my blog...the spirited child. From the moment Maddy was born, actually even before she was born, she did and still does everything with intensity. She never kicked much when I was pregnant, but when she did it hurt! I joked saying it was all the Tae-Bo I did but whatever it was, it was powerful. When she slept she slept so intently...it was as if she had a purpose she was fulfilling. She was a great baby. I've only had one but honestly she was super easy. I struggled with things I didn't see other parents struggling with. Maddy did not like to be confined to anything. I know there are other babies that struggled with the same thing...I get it...but Maddy's struggle just seemed so different. If she was in her carseat she screamed nonstop, unless you could swing her in it or the car was going. If you were swinging her in it, it had to be a hard swing...no little swing...nope..I mean a high fast swing. She would not ride in her stroller. It was then that I realized she had a fear of heights so that was explainable. Most of her baby and early toddler days had an understandable reasoning for her behavior. She was tired, she was hot, she was hungry, she was thirsty, etc. This past weekend is when my eyes really opened up and I got this gut wrenching feeling that something was wrong. As a baby she never had any separation anxiety. She has severe separation anxiety now. Leaving her at school or her sunday school at church is a major process. I've always assumed it was because we moved into our new place back in July and she was just unsure. Transitions are hard on her. Getting out of the house is a process. I know most toddlers don't want to get in the car...I get that. Maddy will go into these major tantrums to where I look at her and wonder where in the world that anger came from. She responds well to timers for the most part so I'm thinking I need to start using them for when we need to transition to something else. This past Saturday she was having a good time playing. It was getting late and it was time for her to go to bed. Normally I can catch her before she throws her fits, but there was no catching the fit this time. I mean she was hitting me, trying to hit Manny, stomping her foot and yelling to the top of her lungs NO! STOP! If I tried talking to her it sent her over the edge even more. I mean she was literally going crazy in that moment. I honestly had no idea what in the world I needed to do to get her to calm down. I learned some calming techniques when I worked with my special needs student years ago that I was tempted to try to do on her. One of those techniques is putting a lot of weight on their head...like pushing down with your hands. The problem is you have to bear down hard and I didn't think I could do it hard enough to where it would work and if I couldn't it would have sent her into a more belligerent state. I looked over and found Manny hunkered down under her bed just shaking like a leaf due to her melt down. I finally got him out of the room and then had to leave myself. My leaving upset her even more and she screamed saying, "DON'T LEAVE MOMMY!!!" I did tell her that she needed to calm down and I would come right back. She sat on her bed and screamed and cried for about five minutes. The minute she stopped I went in there and loved on her. After that incident her mood switched and it was as if nothing had happened. It's hard to describe in words her mood swings, but my mom has seen them herself and agreed that it's not a normal three year old tantrum. I woke up Sunday morning and found myself researching bipolar disorder in toddlers. To my surprise there was some information out there about it and it described Maddy. I was dead set on taking her to the doctor to see if they diagnose it this young and to get some help. It was heavy on my mind all day Sunday. I started panicking a little as I started thinking about the teenage years. Monday morning rolled around and I decided to do a little more research on bipolar toddlers. I ran across a forum on Parenting that was real moms with this very real issue. Some said it was just a normal toddler thing while others said doctors don't diagnose it this young. There were two comments that stuck out in my mind. The first being this woman thought her 2 year old was bipolar and had no resources for help because the doctor just told her it was just a toddler thing. This woman didn't find any help until her daughter was in the 5th grade and she ran across this book "Raising Your Spirited Child." The other comment that stuck out in my mind is a doctor prescribed a 4 year old bipolar medication. The parents kept insisting she raise the dosage and she finally gave in and up'd her medication. The 4 year old died and the doctor lost her license and the parents possibly charged with the death of their daughter. The person went on to say that bipolar medicine is only tested on adults so who knows what all it does to kids. That to me is scary. I didn't want Maddy on medicine, but I did want some help on calming techniques. I decided to check out the book Raising Your Spirited Child and honestly, the author describes Maddy to a tee! I bought from my phone and instantly started reading it. Before I felt overwhelmed and scared. As I read I'm finding that I feel less overwhelmed and scared and more okay with things. I am feeling like I will gain the confidence I need to get Maddy through this...to help her. I'm reluctant to read just any parenting book...especially if it doesn't have Christian principles. Actually, I hate to read period. This book is insightful and gives me hope. So far what I've learned is instead of having or thinking negative thoughts about her behavior...such as she's strong willed, loud, demanding...I think she's persistent, vibrant or dramatic, and assertive. Once you change your thought process you can help your child better. Again, I'm not good at putting this all into words but the book is helpful and I like that they go with a positive thought process instead of negative. I haven't quite gotten to the what do you do when section...if there is one. So far I've just learned more about Maddy and learned new ways of thinking. So when she wants to help with something that she can't instead of just saying no I need to say, "Maddy you are such a great helper. You are also very persistent which is great! I would let you get the peanut butter, however, it's already out so can you help mommy by getting the jelly?" Now she probably would say no to that but I'm hoping the book goes on to tell you how to handle it when they still keep insisting they do whatever it is they want to do. I will share a few pages of the book.

I am already putting some ideas to use. Before all this happened I ran across something on pinterest that I love!

I felt like for Maddy a fish bowl would be too long in between rewards for it to be effective, so I am currently using a ziploc bag. I decided to use real coins because she knows what money is and you have to have money to buy fun things. Some days she's all about earning her coins, other days...not so much. I have started to use a timer now when we get home and tell her how many minutes she has before bed or bath time and let her see the timer going. The past two nights SHE has actually come to me to tell me she was ready for bed. I think it also helps that I started going back to our normal routine we've had ever since she was a baby. I had quit reading her a book every night...we would only read on the weekends due to my work schedule. I have since started our bed time routine a little earlier so we could read. I think she needs that time to wind down. She has never been one to stay up real late, but lately she had been staying up till 11 or 11:30 p.m. Since we've started our routine again she has only stayed up an hour later from when I leave. I am still learning and still am unsure how to handle her telling me no and her melt downs, but I have already seen SO much improvement. The goal is progress not perfection. If you have a "spirited" kid please know there is hope and there are solutions. I feel very thankful to have found this book and have already gained a better understanding of Maddy.

Troubled Days

Believe it or not I just got Maddy to bed 30 minutes ago. It's been kind of a different week this week. Every day Maddy has just absolutely refused to walk into school. She has started asking to be carried and then won't get off you once you get inside. Once you do get her down she refuses to put anything up and just screams, "NOOOOO!!!" When I ask her why it's always, "I just want to go home." She has a favorite teacher who she will normally talk to, but she wants nothing to do with her. If I told her I would stay, then she'd snap right out of it. Normally this type of behavior would make me think something happened at school, but I really don't think this is the case...I think it's something else. I could be completely wrong, but I really don't think so. Not only is Maddy having separation anxiety, she is having a rough time going to sleep. Last night she called for me twice and she was under the covers both time. I would go in there and she would say, "Mommy I'm ready to get up now." She got upset when I told her it was still night night time. She told me one time that she was scared. It probably doesn't help that some people think it's ok to play like monsters are after them...yeah...thanks for that. 11:00 p.m. seems to be the magic number. Tonight was my fault she stayed up so late, but honestly she went straight to sleep. Wednesday's are chaotic around here. I have been letting her stay up and play when we get home from church while I finish working. Tonight was no different. What was different is I went ahead and gave her a bath. I wondered why I was so tired when I was rocking her...I got my phone and saw it was 11:00 p.m. I had to finish tying her friends valentine bags and then I had to put Maddy's valentine's bag together from me. I wished I had remembered to either ask my mom for a heart cookie cutter or buy a cheap one so I could make heart biscuits for her breakfast tomorrow and to get strawberry milk. Yeah, deep down inside I am THAT mom that likes to go all out and make it a fun day but we won't get to do all that this year. It's amazing how fast time has gone by. I didn't even get to get her an adorable outfit...I do, however, have a red heart shirt that will do just fine.

I wish Maddy could understand her feelings enough to tell me exactly what is going on, but I know she can't right now. It kills me to leave her when she having a rough time. I know it's part of life and I know that she is just fine when I leave but more than anything I just want to scoop her up and tell her she can go home. I also know that that would not be in her best interest. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a good distraction for her. She knows it's Valentine's day even though she doesn't really understand what that means. Her school has done a great job of preparing them for tomorrow. I don't have a lot of pictures...but will post a picture of Maddy's treat bag she will get in the morning along with the treat bags we are sending to school.

It was kinda hard to get a "good" picture of the treat bag. It doesn't help that I am just so ready for bed so it is what it is lol. I will share pictures of the goodies in Maddy's sometime this weekend or next week. I hope you all have a GREAT Valentine's Day and enjoy eating all the goodies...I will enjoy seeing all the cute kids that are posted on Instagram, along with my own cute kid and looking at all the hearts. For some reason I LOVE hearts...when my family sees a heart they think of me...we just go. Maybe one day I will understand my love for hearts, but for now I will just enjoy them :) <3 p="">

Be Mine?

Tonight me and Maddy put together valentine treat bags for her friends at school. For her first valentine's day she was not in a daycare...she was home with me. My mom watched her throughout the day so I could work. Her second valentine's day I think her class was too young and didn't hand out valentine cards. Her third valentine's day we just got cards and she showed me who she wanted each one to go to. This year we went with a little goody bag. We got Bob valentine cards and they are so cute!

To go along with the cards we got kitkat bars and mini fruit roll ups. Maddy did it all herself, with the exception of writing the names. She kept asking me, "Which friend is this for?" and I would tell her and she would say ok...they would like this one. She seriously took her time in finding the perfect one for each friend. It kinda seems like she has two crushes...their names are River and Trenton. They aren't her first crush. I believe she had a crush on a little boy in a previous class but I can't think at the moment. I know she has a crush on one of her Sunday school helpers named Mr. Jarrod. I mean we are talking cheeks turning bright red and everything. He is a big help...she has separation anxiety something awful. She never had that as a baby, but as she's gotten older she has a real hard time separating from me. Anyways, Mr. Jarrod knows he is Maddy's favorite and can distract her so I can leave when he is there. Here are the pictures of Maddy making her treat bags.

It was fun to do something different for a change. We first had dinner, then worked on the treat bags, then got to eat a little left over candy, and then we had frozen yogurt lol. I mean it's only Valentine week once a year...may as well enjoy!

Our Weekend

This weekend I took Maddy to get her dance gear. I had only planned on getting her tap shoes, but I decided I may as well go ahead and get it all lol. We got her tap shoes, her ballet dress, dance tights, and ballet shoes. Honestly they are the cutest things ever!! She is in a size 9 shoe now, but for her ballet shoes she took a 10 and her tap shoes she took a 9.5, however, we may need a 10 sooner rather than later. I really want to get her a cute dance bag to store her clothes in, but I don't know if it would be worth the money at this point. Maybe next year I will know better whether she will want to keep dance up or not and then can decide on the bag, but then again I will probably end up just getting it lol.

I really wanted to play dress up with her and take a lot of pictures, but I didn't because I don't want her to get used to "playing" in them ...it's quite pricey when you buy everything at once and think about the fact that she is a growing girl and I will be buying several outfits and shoes throughout the next two years of daycare. I  had to fight back the tears as I got them because I can just envision her all decked out in dance wear and it's just beyond cute!

We also picked out valentine cards for her friends at school. She wasn't too interested in picking them out like she was last year, but she was distracted by her computer. I finally just had to grab one of each and throw in the buggy and asked her to pick one. I thought it would be hard for her to choose because they had Hello Kitty, Minnie Mouse, and Bob....she chose Bob. We also bought a little candy and some treat bags. I will post pictures later this week. I was able to sneak in her valentine gifts as well :)

I'm so proud of myself! I have been trying to cut down my mello yello intake. I turn 30 in a month and my body has already changed for the worse. It holds EVERYTHING I put in lol. I decided to start working on my lifestyle change now before it got too out of hand. I did pretty good last week...my ultimate goal is to get myself down to just one a day. While I work that's a little difficult because my job is high stress and since I tend to work round the clock I need things to get me through and keep me awake...although the caffeine really doesn't affect me. I have only had one mello yello today and also had some water. My food intake was very healthy...half a grilled pork chop, mashed potatoes, squash, and green beans. I was able to get my work out in and I feel so good. I wish I could do this everyday...it's a goal I'm working on for now.

Today at church Maddy's small group went and passed out candy to the adult small groups. They gave Hershey's Hugs. There is nothing sweeter than getting something from a 3 year old. They of coarse got to bring some of those Hugs home :)

I'm hoping to get to bed before 1 a.m. today. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned today on top of work out so hopefully I will just let myself sleep.

Picture Randoms

I don't have really have any "topics" to talk about per say, but do have a lot of pictures on my phone/camera. My posts may be random picture dumps for a while lol.

Maddy stayed home from school today. It was totally unintentional, but I'm really glad we got to spend the day together. Small mom confession...I have my alarm set for 6:45 a.m. for the weekdays. Since I seem to have gotten stuck in a habit of going to bed  anywhere between 1 and 2 a.m. during the week, it's very rare I actually get up at that time. Usually I snooze until time to get Maddy up. This morning...I remember snoozing one time and then when I woke up and saw how light it was outside I knew I had really overslept. I woke up at 8:11 a.m. I knew there was no way I would be ready to walk out the door by 8:30 a.m. Maddy's daycare has a policy that if they aren't there by 9 a.m. then you have to wait until 2:30 p.m. before dropping them off but you have to let them know you are coming. I figured it'd be 9:30 before I could get there and I'm on overtime this week so it just worked out better that she stay home. When I told her she was staying home her eyes lit up and she said, "YAY!!!! That's what I wanted to do." She grabbed her drawing board as we call it and sat right beside my desk and drew this. She said, "Look mommy, I drew Hello Kitty" When I looked down I was shocked because it really does look like Hello Kitty lol.

If you've read my blog for any length of time you know I coupon...that's how I afford groceries for us. There are lots of good benefits from couponing one being you get to get a lot of goodies that you might not could otherwise afford. One of my deals were the Softpretzel brand of frozen pretzel's. I don't like pretzels without nacho cheese sauce. I didn't have any so I decided to try Pace picante sauce...it was pretty amazing. I don't know why but I was also shocked to see there was only 1 fat gram per pretzel. I didn't put the salt on it so it was a pretty healthy little snack.

These are Maddy's new shoes. Funny story kinda. First of all I had to bring a shoe box to her school last week so they could make a Valentine's box this week. I don't buy many shoes and when I do, I usually throw the box away. I was just going to go to payless and grab a cheap pair of shoes for Maddy so I could get the box. I was going to be proactive and buy a half size bigger so she would have something when her foot grew. I decided to have her try it on and realized her foot had already grown. She's been wearing a size 8.5 and I have no idea how long she has needed a 9. Oops! I grabbed a black pair of flats that she uses for dance and church. Sunday morning we were getting ready for church and I could only find one of her shoes. Mind you it was the only pair she could wear. I searched high and low and everywhere in between and the shoe just was not here...anywhere. So we headed to Wal-Mart and I got her these heart shoes that light up and then another black pair like I had bought at Payless. I think the devil just sits and waits for Sunday morning to roll around because every morning is a battle to get to church. I usually struggle to find my keys and almost had to say no church because I just couldn't find them...but I eventually did. If it's not shoes or keys it's no make up...it;s always something.

This past Saturday me and Maddy had a movie date. It finally snowed here so I threw on Maddy's snowsuit and didn't even bother fixing her hair. The past two times I've told her it might snow she got so excited and wanted to build a snow kitty. When I woke up and saw how hard it was snowing I ran to get her and we hurried to get outside. She remembers us watching Lady and the Tramp one afternoon while we ate popcorn and then we fell asleep. She is always asking now to watch Lady and the Tramp and eat popcorn and tells me if I'm tired I can lay on her couch and love on her. Saturday night we actually watched Despicable Me instead. She did pretty good...she watched most of it but towards the end she got up and played.

I see these advertise all the time on TV but never cared to try them because I really don't like sausage. They were on sale two weeks ago so I bought them. They were normally $6.99 at Publix, but they were doing a B1G1 and on top of that I had a coupon. I only bought one because it was the cheapest price. They actually were pretty good. I wouldn't pay full price for them, but if they go back on sale I would buy again. I do recommend not freezing them though.

Maddy's school has come up with a creative way to raise money for iPads and other education electronics. The director will cook every once in a while. They recently held another dinner and I must say she is a WONDERFUL cook! This time was spaghetti, rolls, and salad. I'm really not a big spaghetti fan..I like it baked with lots of cheese. I was reluctant to try hers but was pleasantly surprised. The rolls..they were amazing too. When we got home we went straight to the table to dig in....Maddy really enjoyed it lol. FYI...I really do fix her hair...this is how she comes home everyday...she plays super hard and of coarse during nap time it gets all messed up.

Maddy received her first award on my oldest niece's birthday. She doesn't know what this is just yet, but it's something I will treasure forever. She is in dance year round at her school and she just progressed to the next level. It will be interesting to see how long she will keep dance up. I don't think it's something she will do once she is out of daycare, but she may surprise me.

This was roughly two Sunday's ago...we were getting ready for church and once I got her PJ's off she ran to her couch laughing saying No, I'm cold let's snuggle. I wish I had written down exactly what she said because it was super cute. I wanted nothing more than to lay back down under the nice warm covers and go back to sleep but I'm always so thankful to go to church.

She wears her glasses upside down because when she tries to put them on the right way herself, they fall down...this way they don't fall down...smart girl she is lol. She was all about her chocolate in that moment...right now chocolate is not candy...it's chocolate lol.

I need to go workout now before I fall asleep...actually that's why I'm staying up so late is because after I work out I'm pretty pumped. I hope you all have a great end of the week!!!

Swinging the Day Away

I decided to take a break from all the cleaning on Sunday and go enjoy the pretty day. I grabbed my phone and earbuds and got to swinging on Maddy's playground. Swinging is so soothing. I mean I know it's a real form of therapy from working with a former student, but I forgot how good it felt to swing. The swing soothed me and the music lifted my spirits. By the time I was done I was so pumped! Pandora has become my new best friend. I wish cars would come with pandora loaded in them, but without the jacked up prices lol. I have all kinds of pandora stations and I love to shuffle through them. Here is a glimpse of what I listened to.

You can't really dance a lot on a swing, but I danced as much as I could. I plan to do this a LOT more often lol

20 Questions

If you're on Pinterest I'm sure you've run into the "20 questions to ask your kids each year" thing. I had one pinned, however, I couldn't find the questions so I just searched for one until I did. I asked Maddy this past Sunday as we played outside. These were ALL unprompted, but I did have to help her understand what some of the words were, such as sports and holiday:

1. What is your favorite color? Purple, blue, and orange
2. What is your favorite toy? choo choo train (she doesn't even have one lol)
3. What is your favorite fruit? "nanas" bananas
4. What is your favorite TV show? Mickey Mouse and Doc McStuffins
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Pizza and pineapple
6. What is your favorite outfit? shoes
7. What is your favorite game? Red Rover Red Rover
8. What is your favorite snack? Pizza
9. What is your favorite animal? Giraffe
10. What is your favorite song? ABC's
11. What is your favorite book? ABC book
12. Who is your best friend? Ella and Courtney
13. What is your favorite sport? Football
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Swing
15. What is your favorite drink? Chocolate milk and water
16. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Horse (she never takes her horse...she usually takes baby)
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? waffles and pancakes (she has a waffle most mornings and she won't eat pancakes)
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? cake
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? Mommy....can we say melt my heart?!?!

I hope to remember to ask her these questions each year...technically it should be February 3 each year, but I kinda like doing it around her birthday...we will see. She actually asked me to teach her a sport a while back. I refuse to say on here until I can actually play that sport with her because unfortunately there are people who like to "creep" on my blog for all the wrong reasons and I refuse to just hand out information :x (my lips are sealed lol)