Letters to Maddy

My sweet Maddy...you are currently sound asleep as you should be. It is 12:36 a.m. Mommy should have been in bed 30 min. to an hour ago, but I wanted to work out for a little bit. One day you will look back on this and be embarrassed that I am writing this, but one day you will look back on this and cherish it...I hope :) I want to start writing down cherished memories of you and save them for you. You are currently 3 years old and weigh approximately 31 lbs. Technically you can still wear a 4 diaper, but I moved you up to a size 5.  You wear a size 8.5 shoe, although I am quite certain you are close to a 9. You are in 4T clothing. Your personality comes out more and more each day and I love seeing you turn into you. You have two favorite indoor things you like to play...school and castle. You like to tell me that I am the teacher, but you always tell me what to do with the class lol. My favorite thing to play with you inside is castle. I love hearing your different voices. You still like to dictate what my character does somewhat, but I just love playing with you. You and Manny have really bonded since he's gotten sick. You always ask about him and ask if he's going to be ok. You two are like siblings. He takes your toys and chews on them and you tattle on him for looking at you or not doing what you want him to do. You are very independent and don't like the boundaries mommy has set for you. I think we will struggle with this boundary issue for at least the next 15 years lol. I haven't had to put you in time out a whole lot. You are pretty good to calm down on your own and listen to what I am trying to tell you. It is so very important to me that you know our communication is open. I want you to know you can tell me anything, but respectfully and I will listen. I am working on that now in hopes that as you grow up, you will know you can talk to me. You are melting my heart. When we talk about Jesus you always ask where He is. I always tell you He is in Heaven, but you have a better understanding because you always ask if He's in your heart. I pray He is in your heart and that you will choose to start a personal relationship with Him. Our pastor has challenged the church to pray together as a family in 2013 and that is something I am making sure we do.
You have been getting into mischief at night. I have caught you several nights in a row turning your light back on and just playing in your room. You had been staying up until 11:30 p.m. when you did this. You lost some "computer" (leap pad) time and were very unhappy about that. Speaking of computer, it has started to become a problem. You come home every day and have plans of playing castle with me, but it never fails...you end up on your couch with your computer in hand and play until bed or bath time, then you pitch a fit saying you want to play when I tell you it's night night time. I am going to start putting a time limit on how much you play your computer and make sure you get your energy out before it's bed time.
I love our bedtime routine. We read a book, we pray, and then we rock/talk. When you hop into bed you cling to me and tell me I can sleep in your room. You really enjoy me and Manny camping out in your room. In fact, when you were sick one night we brought in your couch and you chose to give up the comforts of your bed to sleep on the floor with us on your couch. I felt so bad for you because your stomach was hurting you real bad, but I loved spending the night together as a family. Since that night you always ask me and Manny to sleep with you. Part of me wants to give in and move you to my bed, but I know if I do you will want to do that all the time.
You are such a caring person and if I look upset you will tell me not to be sad, or you will ask me what is wrong. If I cry you tell me it will be ok and even tell me that God said it would be ok. You love to laugh and have such a nurturing spirit about you. When other people hurt, you hurt/worry about them. You like to make people laugh. You don't like going to school. You wrap your hand around one of my legs and refuse to let go. I know you enjoy playing with your friends, but I don't think you like some of the teachers. I also think you have some separation anxiety. You are such a special person and I can't wait to see how your life unfolds. I am so thankful that God allowed me to be your mom...it's been a huge blessing. I love you!

Love,
Mommy <3 p="p">

Weekly Randoms

I think all my posts should just be called Daily Randoms lol. It's been a yucky mess weather wise around here. My handy dandy app has been put to use:

It has rained non stop around here. It's such a shame it's not snow falling. Yesterday was pretty warm, but today has just been so cold. I looked at some point today and it was 45 degrees. BRR!!!

I've been nervous about Manny lately. I'm sure his numbers are still continuing to elevate, but aren't as high as they were I'm sure. He ran out of medicine last week and I wasn't sure if he really was on this medicine for life and what the next steps were. With my mom's help we found out that he is indeed on this medicine for life and he will need to have his numbers checked next week. I am definitely in tune to the minor changes in him and have seen some this week. I felt sad over the weekend and spent Friday night praying that God would allow him to live for a long time. I think I was subconsciously worried about him not having his medicine and knowing his health was starting to decline some, because I am not AS worried.

Ever since I found out he had kidney disease, I have been unable to sleep in my room. I had gotten so used to feeling him lay right up against me, that when he spent the weekend in the hospital it just tore me up. I tried laying in bed but I just couldn't. I ended up making Maddy's couch my new bed. One would think once he came home that I would return to my bed, but nope. I think I'm scared to go back to my room because I know his life is shortened and who knows how much time he really has left. He has adapted quite nicely to Maddy's couch and will lay on it with me. One night he just completely rooted me out of my spot and took up the entire space lol. I wanted to remember so I snapped a picture.

We went to a local concert recently called Winter Jam. It's an amazing concert that brings in christian bands and you only pay $10. There are quite a few artist's that come on this tour but the ones I was interested in were Jaimie Grace, Sidewalk Prophets,  Matthew West, and of coarse TobyMac! Maddy went last year and Skillet was there and it was just way too loud. I'm a Skillet fan, but that concert was not their best in my opinion. This year my mom bought ear plugs and they were a life saver. Even with ear plugs Maddy said it was too loud a few times. She did SO good! I brought her leap pad and she watched her videos and played games through the whole thing. She ate TWO hot dogs and had a coke. Girl was hungry lol. She got up and danced some to TobyMac. She alternated sitting in the chair and sitting on her blanket on the floor.

I had a GREAT lunch last week. I made BBQ chicken and had some vegetables with it. The best sauce is Sweet Baby Rays! I cooked it in the crock pot and added brown sugar, a little vinegar, and red pepper flakes. Its' not my recipe, I found it on Pinterest :)

Having mashed potatoes would have made it even better, but I enjoyed it as it was.

I found a new game I'm addicted to...Ruzzle. It's a fun word game that you can play against your friends. I saw it on Twitter and thought I'd give it a try...I haven't stopped playing yet lol.

Maddy is starting to come out of her toddler stage and into a little girl. One of her favorite things to play lately is castle. She will actually make different voices for the different people. It's really neat to see her play like that. I will try to capture a video of it.

We were finally able to celebrate my youngest niece's birthday. Her birthday is December 6, however, her sister had her tonsils taken out that day. That weekend someone in their family got the flu and then someone else got RSV. By that point it was Christmas and then New Year's. She has been quite upset her party has kept getting postponed. We threw her a surprise party at our church. She was truly surprised and we all had a lot of fun.

We clearly had a great time lol. Afterwards we went out for ice cream at a frozen yogurt shop called Sweet Frog. It was a really good day!

Late Night Post

I actually wanted to write down my last grocery shopping trip, but I got side tracked at looking online. I've known you could turn your blog into a book, but I never really thought it would be something I'd want to do. I mean you can see it online for free...why pay to have it printed. Well, I want mine printed now lol. I've been playing around with it and before this post it would have cost me $170 plus shipping for my entire blog. It would actually cost me a lot more if I did it the way I wanted it. You can either condense it to where your pictures and text are all scrunched together or you can have it in the layout you typed it in. The reason I want it in the layout I typed it in is because I know exactly which post the pictures go to. For me it will be best to break it down by years. My very first blog posts in 2010 will only cost $24.95 plus shipping. You get up to 20 pages for that price and then it's .40 a page after that I think.

Maddy has not wanted to go to bed tonight. It's 11:31 p.m. and I do believe she just NOW is drifting off to sleep. I've gotten her off her schedule and her new schedule is how the past week has been. Late nights, early mornings. She would get out of bed, turn her light on, and just play. I went in there twice to tell her no more playing and the light stays off.

I'm tired...it's MY bed time :)

Just Because

This will be a post of randoms that don't really have a home lol. I've been sick since before Christmas. It hit my mom, then Maddy, then me and my youngest niece. For my mom it lasted about 4 weeks. It's a chronic cough with maybe one day of fever. Yes, it sounds like bronchitis but when I first got mine it did not feel like bronchitis. When I get bronchitis and don't go to the doctor it gets to be a real wet and yucky sounding cough. Well, my mom healed. I figured I'd heal soon after. I was wrong. I ran fevers off and on. Actually, at night my fever would go up. I know your body temp. rises in the evening, but the fever was making me feel horrible. The Sunday after Christmas I did nothing but lay all day. I tried to get up to play with Maddy and was successful for a few minutes. She wanted me to read so I started reading and realized I was so out of breath I felt like I couldn't get air in fast enough. Turns out it was bronchitis that was turning into pneumonia after all. I still have the cough, but not as bad. It's really annoying!

yeah, I took a picture of the thermometer to send lol. Maddy just had a cold that turned into a middle ear infection. They gave her antibiotic for her ear and some cough syrup. The cough syrup worked longer on her than the directions said. She can take it every 6 hours, but one dose would last for 24 hours.

Maddy found her first Disney movie that she likes. We watched this movie two days in a row.

Lady and the Tramp really is a great movie. I hadn't seen it in a very long time. I think this will be the first Disney I buy. I plan to collect them because I myself love Disney.

Another movie Maddy watched was The Polar Express.

We were both sick on this day and didn't go to school or work. She gets engrossed in her movies lol. I plan to take her to her first movie sometime soon. I think it will be fun :)

I thought this sounded good and the best thing about it is, it's Weight Watchers!

I will definitely be trying this one out. No, I'm not on Weight Watchers because I can't afford it, however, I have done it in the past. It really is an excellent program and lets you eat whatever you want to eat.

I was off work the week of December 31. I did, however, have to work most of the day on the 31st and then again on the 2nd to try to stay out of trouble. I had high hopes of getting our house completely clean and straight. I'm still living out of boxes and of coarse there is the every day mess. Wednesday I ended up sleeping because I went to bed at 12:20 a.m. and woke up at 4 a.m. to get my work done. After dropping Maddy off I was just too tired to do anything. I slept until 1:00 p.m. Oops! I was able to do some cleaning before I got Maddy. Thursday I worked out with my mom. We did a step class that was hard but fun. Apparently my body is not ready to work out because once I got home my fever was back up and I felt horrible. I slept the rest of the afternoon. Friday I went shopping to get our groceries. I did really good with my coupons and got a lot of food! I wish I could take every Friday off and shop lol. It's hard getting my coupons together and getting the deals together when I'm working all the time. After we shopped my mom helped me put up my picture frame set my sister got me for Christmas. I still have to print out a few more pictures lol

I hope you all are having a great week so far!!!

The Manny Diaries Part 2

My mommy has kind of been a computer hog lately. Let's see...well, I went back to the doctor on December 14 at 9:30 a.m. (YUCK!!!) I gained a little over a pound...1.8 lbs or something like that. I weighed in at 25.8. My mommy was quite surprised. They then took me back in the back and I had anxiety that my mommy was going to leave me again. The nurse that helped me was not as nice as my first nurse...she put this contraption over my mouth (muzzle) to keep me from biting....HA!!! Don't mess with me and I won't bite! She didn't let my mommy put me on the table gently like the other nurse did either...they are kinda rough when they pick us people...I mean dogs up. I yelp when they pick me up, but when my mommy does it she is so gentle that there is no need for yelping. Anyways, they poked me again with this sharp object called a needle and let me tell ya...IT HURT!! I was so relieved when they brought me back to my mommy. We waited and waited and finally the doctor came in. He was talking all mambo jumbo stuff that I don't understand. My mommy told me my numbers went up from when I was in the hospital, but they are no where near as bad as they were when she first took me to be seen. My BUN was around 60 something and my creatinine was actually higher than when I first went in and was at 4 something. My mommy said my prognosis is anywhere from 3 months to 3 years. She keeps telling me I gotta stick around 3 years, but longer would be good too. I really don't know what she is talking about but I sure do love all the love I've been getting. She said if my numbers get higher again that I will have to go back in the hospital, but if they keep going up the doctor won't let her put me in the hospital and will talk about putting me to sleep. As of right now I feel good. I have a new found love for playing and my sister Maddy has ALL kinds of neat toys I can chew on. For some reason mommy gets on to me when I'm just trying to play :(

My sister got this awesome new thing...I really don't know what you do with it, but I love standing on it...she always tells mommy on me though whenever I do get on. Can't a dog have some fun around here too?!?!

My mommy got me this awesome new blanket for Christmas, but for some reason she's always taking it! It's so soft and warm and comfy.

Apparently if you are anemic, you stay cold a lot..I love to sleep under mommy's blankets, but I see my blanket here in this picture too!

Mommy snuggles are the best!

My sis is the best!!!

Out With the Old, In With the New :)

I remember starting 2012 and hoping it was as wonderful as 2011. Little did I know it would be one big roller coaster.  Starting 1-2-12 I knew it was going to be a hard year. It's hard to explain in words, but it stemmed from one email from my manager and I just knew. I was pretty much right, but it wasn't ALL bad. I had given up hope on being able to get my own place. I remember my mom coming home one night and I could tell she wanted to talk, but thought she was waiting for me to put Maddy to bed. Once I came back she proceeded to tell me she found a for rent sign at a duplex that I had been keeping my eye on. I about flipped out. I wouldn't let myself get too excited and was trying to find the negatives to contain my excitement lol. I never would have guessed in April I would be signing a lease for mine and Maddy's new house. Looking back the wait was totally worth it. This is one thing I KNOW God had planned for me and Maddy and I thank Him often for His perfect plan.  Signing my lease came soon after tornadoes that had touched down near where my duplex is. God wanted to wait until after the tornadoes, so I wouldn't have to endure the anxiety a tornado brings. The tornado incident is just ONE reason I waited three years. He was waiting for me to draw closer to Him so I would continue to do so once I moved out. Honestly, the timing was just perfect. I still find myself looking around amazed that me and Maddy finally have a place to call home that is ours (temporarily lol).

This is the day we had tornadoes...I think. Weather really fascinates me and I'm constantly checking the radar and taking screen shots of it from my phone to share with other people.

This was the day we signed our lease.
Prior to finding out I would be moving out, I also celebrated my 29th birthday. We celebrated on St. Patrick's Day and it was a lot of fun. I always choose Olive Garden because it is my all time favorite restaurant. In May we headed down to Panama City Beach, FL with my mom and step dad for a few days. This was the first year Maddy really enjoyed being at the beach. She was SO excited!

We headed back down to Panama in June to stay a week. It was my first vacation alone with Maddy, and she did really well!
In July we celebrated my mom's 50th birthday and the fourth of July. Every year we go to a local amusement park called Lake Winnie...it's always a blast :) Maddy rode her first coaster and it made me tear up lol. August is when life became very stressful for me. Mostly just work, but as a single mom always fearing for job just gets exhausting. We went up to Gatlinburg for the weekend and went to Dollywood and celebrated my mom and step dad's 10th anniversary. Maddy associates "mountains" with Dollywood...oops! September was Maddy's 3rd birthday and it was a lot of fun. She got her slide and to this day begs me to go outside lol. I'm so fortunate to have a family that could help get this for her...it has made her dreams come true. October was Halloween, November was Thanksgiving, and then December. December 7 at 3:00 p.m. is when I found out that instead of having a urinary tract infection like I thought, Manny actually had kidney failure. My world came crashing down. He spent 3 days in the hospital. Since leaving the hospital...after he got his sleep in...he became a new dog. He was just like a puppy again. I knew his numbers had gone up some when I went back to have them checked, and they did but not as bad. The vet gave him 3 months to 3 years to live. He is part of the family and I feel like he is my second child. Him and Maddy have really formed a tight bond and I am no where NEAR ready to lose him! He is only 5 years old.

I started 2012 out wanting to get my faith back where it was when I first got saved. I can say it isn't 100% back, but I am so much closer now than I was starting out. I highly recommend the devotional Jesus Calling. I started 2013 out trying to find ways to not stress about things and let God handle it. Every where I turn I am seeing not to worry, God's got it and reading about how we should rest in God and let Him handle our problems. I don't feel like this year is going to be a HORRIBLE year, but I do think it will be a year of teaching me to let God handle everything. I feel like it will be a year of tests. I am hopeful that it at least feels better than last year. I am so thankful that God does take care of me because sometimes I just don't know what to do, but He does. I need to be the best I can at all times and let Him do the rest. I would never have survived last year without God and of coarse my family. Here's to a New Year!!!

Christmas 2012

Obviously I did not get this posted by last year lol. Christmas morning was a lot like most mornings. Maddy didn't wake up until 8:30 a.m. I don't wake her up on Christmas because it won't be long before she will be the one waking ME up, so I'm taking advantage of this time while I have it :) She was not a happy camper Christmas morning and was very clingy to me. She didn't really want anything to do with her toys at all...it took a good 10-15 minutes before she would even think about touching them.

As you can see Manny was VERY excited! I just love watching Manny and Maddy. They love each other so much :)

She stayed in my lap for a while. She finally decided she would just touch her toys lol.

The way we do Christmas is we see what Santa brought us and play with it for a little while, then we open presents from everybody else. We do our stockings last.

Manny knows how to unwrap his presents. He wanted to help Maddy unwrap hers in case there was something good to eat lol.

Maddy gave me a special gift this year. She gave me her handprint that was baked with clay. I want to get a stand or shadow box for it so I can display it around the house. It took a lot for me not to cry, but I did manage.

Our family alternates who hosts Christmas. This year was my aunt and uncle's turn. We were fashionably late. It was supposed to start at 1:00 p.m. and we didn't get there until 2:00 p.m...oops!

I promise that is an undershirt under my sweater lol. I didn't realize how noticeable it was until this picture. I normally wear a darker shirt, but it was dirty.

I ended up scoring this lovely blanket! Manny LOVES it and thinks it's all for him :) We do a chinese Christmas to keep expenses down. We set a dollar limit for the gifts. You bring a gift without writing who it's from and we draw numbers and then pick which gift we want to open. The next person can either steal a gift that's already been opened, or pick a new gift. The gifts can only be stolen 2 or 3 times before it's off limits. I stole both times this year. I first stole a popcorn maker from my step dad and then ended up stealing this blanket from him because my mom stole the popcorn maker. It's a lot of fun, but I do hate going up in front of people to open the gift lol.

My mom surprised me with a set of the dishes I had picked out from Pfaltzgraff. I had no idea she had done that and I am in LOVE with them!

The cousins enjoyed playing a game of air hockey lol. They look so much alike, but the ironic thing is my cousin is adopted and this is her child. They are only 8 months apart.

It was a great Christmas. I'm sad Christmas is over. I still have my tree and decorations up. I am praying for a much better New Year! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!