Out With the Old, In With the New :)

I remember starting 2012 and hoping it was as wonderful as 2011. Little did I know it would be one big roller coaster.  Starting 1-2-12 I knew it was going to be a hard year. It's hard to explain in words, but it stemmed from one email from my manager and I just knew. I was pretty much right, but it wasn't ALL bad. I had given up hope on being able to get my own place. I remember my mom coming home one night and I could tell she wanted to talk, but thought she was waiting for me to put Maddy to bed. Once I came back she proceeded to tell me she found a for rent sign at a duplex that I had been keeping my eye on. I about flipped out. I wouldn't let myself get too excited and was trying to find the negatives to contain my excitement lol. I never would have guessed in April I would be signing a lease for mine and Maddy's new house. Looking back the wait was totally worth it. This is one thing I KNOW God had planned for me and Maddy and I thank Him often for His perfect plan.  Signing my lease came soon after tornadoes that had touched down near where my duplex is. God wanted to wait until after the tornadoes, so I wouldn't have to endure the anxiety a tornado brings. The tornado incident is just ONE reason I waited three years. He was waiting for me to draw closer to Him so I would continue to do so once I moved out. Honestly, the timing was just perfect. I still find myself looking around amazed that me and Maddy finally have a place to call home that is ours (temporarily lol).

This is the day we had tornadoes...I think. Weather really fascinates me and I'm constantly checking the radar and taking screen shots of it from my phone to share with other people.

This was the day we signed our lease.
Prior to finding out I would be moving out, I also celebrated my 29th birthday. We celebrated on St. Patrick's Day and it was a lot of fun. I always choose Olive Garden because it is my all time favorite restaurant. In May we headed down to Panama City Beach, FL with my mom and step dad for a few days. This was the first year Maddy really enjoyed being at the beach. She was SO excited!

We headed back down to Panama in June to stay a week. It was my first vacation alone with Maddy, and she did really well!
In July we celebrated my mom's 50th birthday and the fourth of July. Every year we go to a local amusement park called Lake Winnie...it's always a blast :) Maddy rode her first coaster and it made me tear up lol. August is when life became very stressful for me. Mostly just work, but as a single mom always fearing for job just gets exhausting. We went up to Gatlinburg for the weekend and went to Dollywood and celebrated my mom and step dad's 10th anniversary. Maddy associates "mountains" with Dollywood...oops! September was Maddy's 3rd birthday and it was a lot of fun. She got her slide and to this day begs me to go outside lol. I'm so fortunate to have a family that could help get this for her...it has made her dreams come true. October was Halloween, November was Thanksgiving, and then December. December 7 at 3:00 p.m. is when I found out that instead of having a urinary tract infection like I thought, Manny actually had kidney failure. My world came crashing down. He spent 3 days in the hospital. Since leaving the hospital...after he got his sleep in...he became a new dog. He was just like a puppy again. I knew his numbers had gone up some when I went back to have them checked, and they did but not as bad. The vet gave him 3 months to 3 years to live. He is part of the family and I feel like he is my second child. Him and Maddy have really formed a tight bond and I am no where NEAR ready to lose him! He is only 5 years old.

I started 2012 out wanting to get my faith back where it was when I first got saved. I can say it isn't 100% back, but I am so much closer now than I was starting out. I highly recommend the devotional Jesus Calling. I started 2013 out trying to find ways to not stress about things and let God handle it. Every where I turn I am seeing not to worry, God's got it and reading about how we should rest in God and let Him handle our problems. I don't feel like this year is going to be a HORRIBLE year, but I do think it will be a year of teaching me to let God handle everything. I feel like it will be a year of tests. I am hopeful that it at least feels better than last year. I am so thankful that God does take care of me because sometimes I just don't know what to do, but He does. I need to be the best I can at all times and let Him do the rest. I would never have survived last year without God and of coarse my family. Here's to a New Year!!!

Christmas 2012

Obviously I did not get this posted by last year lol. Christmas morning was a lot like most mornings. Maddy didn't wake up until 8:30 a.m. I don't wake her up on Christmas because it won't be long before she will be the one waking ME up, so I'm taking advantage of this time while I have it :) She was not a happy camper Christmas morning and was very clingy to me. She didn't really want anything to do with her toys at all...it took a good 10-15 minutes before she would even think about touching them.

As you can see Manny was VERY excited! I just love watching Manny and Maddy. They love each other so much :)

She stayed in my lap for a while. She finally decided she would just touch her toys lol.

The way we do Christmas is we see what Santa brought us and play with it for a little while, then we open presents from everybody else. We do our stockings last.

Manny knows how to unwrap his presents. He wanted to help Maddy unwrap hers in case there was something good to eat lol.

Maddy gave me a special gift this year. She gave me her handprint that was baked with clay. I want to get a stand or shadow box for it so I can display it around the house. It took a lot for me not to cry, but I did manage.

Our family alternates who hosts Christmas. This year was my aunt and uncle's turn. We were fashionably late. It was supposed to start at 1:00 p.m. and we didn't get there until 2:00 p.m...oops!

I promise that is an undershirt under my sweater lol. I didn't realize how noticeable it was until this picture. I normally wear a darker shirt, but it was dirty.

I ended up scoring this lovely blanket! Manny LOVES it and thinks it's all for him :) We do a chinese Christmas to keep expenses down. We set a dollar limit for the gifts. You bring a gift without writing who it's from and we draw numbers and then pick which gift we want to open. The next person can either steal a gift that's already been opened, or pick a new gift. The gifts can only be stolen 2 or 3 times before it's off limits. I stole both times this year. I first stole a popcorn maker from my step dad and then ended up stealing this blanket from him because my mom stole the popcorn maker. It's a lot of fun, but I do hate going up in front of people to open the gift lol.

My mom surprised me with a set of the dishes I had picked out from Pfaltzgraff. I had no idea she had done that and I am in LOVE with them!

The cousins enjoyed playing a game of air hockey lol. They look so much alike, but the ironic thing is my cousin is adopted and this is her child. They are only 8 months apart.

It was a great Christmas. I'm sad Christmas is over. I still have my tree and decorations up. I am praying for a much better New Year! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve 2012

I am really sad that I haven't gotten to do many posts lately,and even more sad that I never got to change my blog over to Christmas. I don't even feel like Christmas happened this year, although my living room sure shows it did lol. My family just seems to keep getting attacked and it's just been one thing right after another. Christmas Eve was NOT normal for us. I started my day out at 5:26 a.m. to get my 4 hours of work in. I started out in a great mood with my Christmas music going. Maddy woke up at 8:30, so I was able to get most of my time in before she woke up. Once I was done the rush was on. We ran up to my mom's so she could go with us to shop and see santa. Santa of coarse was the first thing on the list, however, when we got there the line was closed and we were told he would return at 2:00 p.m. My pea brain was not thinking because church started at 5:00 p.m. We ate lunch at Chick-fil-a and ran into one of my good friends who recently had twin boys. She also has a 3.5 year old son as well. After lunch we headed to Hallmark to get a special ornament. The ornament place we usually go to was not in the mall this year, which also made me very sad. I let Maddy pick out an ornament and she chose santa and rudolph. We went back to wait in line for Santa to return. Santa finally came and we were so excited. I started hearing people talking about how long it would be and when I heard maybe 2 hours I freaked out. We didn't have that kind of time because I still had to shop for my family. I'm not usually such a late shopper, but Manny's vet bill was NOT a planned expense and really hurt the finances. I decided to walk away from the line and again I wasn't thinking and Maddy got so upset. She didn't pitch a fit, but she was whining saying she wanted to see santa. I stopped and tried to explain to her what was going on, but she wanted santa RIGHT THEN! I couldn't go on with shopping until I got her to santa and I'm so glad I didn't wait. We headed over to another mall, Maddy of coarse is still clueless about what is going on and is still sad.On our way there she said she wanted Santa's chair to be red. When we got there low and behold is chair WAS red! I was almost in tears because God worked it all out. There was only two people in front of us and when we got there they had us go in and then shut the doors. We barely made it. We did wait for a while because they had to redo the people in front of us. When it was our turn the lady said their camera wasn't focusing and that was the delay. Maddy didn't really want to smile. She saw a baby in front of us who cried, and I think it kinda scared her.

You can tell we had waited a while. We started our journey around 11 a.m. and this was 3:30-ish pm. Maddy also has a cold that wears her down, plus she missed nap time. After Santa we hit Toys R Us and it felt like we were on the tv show Supermarket Sweep, if you even remember that show lol. I got presents for my two nieces, nephew, and cousin. After that mad dash we dropped my mom off at church and me and Maddy took her car back to her house so we could get our car. I thought we were done, but I remembered I hadn't gotten Maddy's Christmas jammies. By this point we were both exhausted and not feeling well, but she HAD to have her jammies. When we got to the mall I remembered they closed at 6 p.m. We got there at 5:50 p.m. The one store I chose to look had no Christmas jammies whatsoever and they closed the doors on us. My only option was to try Wal-Mart and of coarse they had none in her size left. Next year I hope to do this much earlier lol. We got home around 7:30 p.m. and hadn't even had dinner. I threw some mac and cheese on and tried cleaning a bit. I didn't even bother to wrap the jammies I got her. We didn't make cookies because Maddy really was feeling bad by this point. We didn't even get to make the reindeer food she made at school. I debated on whether or not to do those things without her. At first I wasn't going to, but then I thought about when she went back to school that she might get upset because there were no cookies for Santa and no food for the reindeer. I got a picture of the cookies, but not the reindeer food. Maddy still has yet to ask about either of them. Oh well lol. I went to bed around 3 a.m. because I had a house to clean, but just had to watch Teen Mom 2 first lol.

I normally look this up on the computer, but found it in the app store and HAD to have it lol. As you can see Santa was in Brazil at this point. I can't wait for next year. I think she will understand it a little better. I didn't even get to show her this year because she was feeling so bad. She went to bed with a fever :(

I made chocolate chip cookies for Santa this year and gave him chocolate milk. Maddy isn't a big fan of white milk anymore so chocolate it was :) I hope to put up our Christmas post by the end of the year, but considering that just gives me tomorrow I'm not sure how that will go.

The Manny Diaries

I got to come home yesterday morning (12-10-12). I heard some lady call my name, but I couldn't find where she was. Next thing I know they were putting a leash on me. When I saw my mommy and nana I just ran to them. I missed them something awful and couldn't be still long enough to get my harness and leash back on. My mommy said I looked better, but I was still a bone. I get scared riding in the car when we go over bumps and I kept trying to sit in my mommy's lap. She said I had to sit in my own seat cause she was driving...whatever that means. When we got home I immediately found some garbage and ate 3 pieces of pork. It sure was tasty, but my mommy was worried since I'm apparently not supposed to eat any human food whatsoever. I have this new food called K/D that is supposed to be quite bland and yucky, but I don't mind it too much. My mommy said I would be on this food and some medicine forever. I don't mind the food, but have yet to see the medicine. My mommy assured me I was taking it, but I kinda think she doesn't know what she is talking about. I want to stay close to my mommy and Maddy. We all laid down in the living room and watched tv. I kept trying to lick Maddy, but I don't think she knew what to do. She laughed at me and told mommy I licked her. I'm still quite itchy. My mommy is worried I may not be drinking enough water, but I can only hold so much ya know...I'm just a small pup. I have to go back to the vet next week to have more labwork done...can they find a different pin cushion to stick please??? All in all I am so happy to be home with my family!

12-7-12

I came home from church Wednesday night and put Maddy to bed. Soon after I started working I heard Manny yelping. It was just a little, so I ignored it thinking he just heard us. He then began yelping a lot so I went to go check on him. I found he was standing in nothing but pee in his kennel. I immediately let him out. I went back to work because I'm under a lot of pressure to get some things done on top of my production and time. Manny would periodically yelp and run around and would just pee in the house constantly, without trying to tell me he had to go. I took him out some and he would just go a little and then just stand there, so I assumed he had a urinary tract infection. I had planned on taking him to the vet on Thursday, but I wasn't meeting my work deadline so I decided to wait to take him. I almost chose to wait until Saturday to take him, but I am so thankful I didn't now. His vet had one opening on Friday and that was at 3:00 p.m. It was really bad timing because I was supposed to be working a 13 hour shift and I had visited with my oldest niece that morning because she had a tonsillectomy on Tuesday. I got to the vet and felt horrible telling them what all had been going on with Manny and that it all started last year. His symptoms did improve last year, which is why I never took him. His symptoms included:
-frequent urination
-loss of appetite
-weight loss
-itching all over
-consumed a lot of water
-yelping
-seizures
I was sure the vet would say he had a urinary tract infection, diabetes, and maybe worms. The vet said with his symptoms he was concerned and three things came to mind:diabetes, adrenal gland problem, or kidney failure. I knew it couldn't be the adrenal gland issue because they would gain weight. He then proceeded to tell me that he had looked at his urinalysis and there was no sugar in his urine so it wasn't diabetes. He said his urine levels were the same as his blood. I wasn't really sure what that meant...he then said two words that I immediately knew it was bad. He proceeded to tell me he was in kidney failure. I was in complete shock as to what I was hearing and I wanted to blurt out: so he's gonna die??? I just lost it. He said there's no way to tell just how much his kidney's had failed, but with his numbers he was in at least 75% He said it could be more, but it waasn't 99% because he would be a lot sicker. I asked what could be done and he said unfortunately they don't do transplant in dogs, so nothing. I sat there crying as he went on with his speech. His BUN (blood urea nitrogen) was at 124...normal for dogs is anywhere from 6-24 and his creatinine was 3.8 and normal is .05-1.6. He also is anemic. After thinking there was absolutely nothing that could be done for Manny he came back in the room and said there were a few options. Hospitalize him and get fluids running through him to see if it lowers his levels. If it did then more than likely medication would help keep them down or I could just take him home and try to the medicine and put him on a kidney diet. Of coarse I wanted to do what was best for Manny, so I hospitalized him. That was such a hard day on me. I had it in my head that he was just going to die and I was no where near ready for that to happen. He's only 5 years old and is just my best friend. He is the man of the house and keeps me company. I am extremely close to him! When I left the vets I really did start to feel like Job. I'm in big trouble at work...well..I will be come to tomorrow and now I'm losing my dog. I did kind of think about Job in my head as I drove and remembered how the Lord allowed bad to happen to Him because he knew no matter what Job would still be faithful to Him. I didn't really have much strength to do anything, but I did manage to find things to be thankful about. I feel like maybe the Lord allowed something bad to happen to Manny and protected Maddy. Once I got home I just fell to my knees and let out everything I had been holding in. I felt numb and weak and was not sure how I would make it through the rest of that day. I didn't really realize how much I depended on Manny being here until Friday night. I could not sleep in my room at all. Manny wasn't eagerly ready to go to bed and if I laid in bed he would not curl up as close to me as he could to where he was touching me. I decided to sleep on the couch. Once I laid down and tried to sleep I realized I just couldn't. I tried sleeping on Maddy's couch but that didn't work. I turned the tv back on thinking maybe I would drift to sleep, but I couldn't even watch tv. I just paced around the house. I stared at his stocking and cried. I went to the Christmas tree and thought about how he wouldn't be here for our first Christmas in our home and cried. Out of habit I tried giving him food I had found on the floor or that Maddy didn't eat, but he wasn't there and I cried. If I made a loud noise I immediately tried to pet him to let him know it was ok, it was just me but he wasn't there. I literally did not sleep Friday night. I had to work for an hour on Saturday so I got up at 6:30 and started working. Saturday was so hard for me. I'd be ok for one minute and then losing it the next. Once Maddy got up I had to suck it up and be ok because I do not like to cry in front of her. We went up to my mom's pretty early. My youngest niece was there and I knew it would be better for Maddy. I was just anxiously waiting for noon because I was supposed to call and check on him to see how he was doing. Noon finally came. I did hear some really good news. His numbers were coming down. His BUN was at 81 and his creatinine was at 2.4 I think. The vet asked if he could stay another day since the goal is to get them down to normal or as close to normal as possible. I was really sad he wouldn't be coming home but also SO thankful they were at least coming down. She was positive because it hadn't even been a full 24 hours. I did expect to call today and hear they were normal, but they were not and the vet on call was NOT very helpful. He didn't tell me his numbers and was pushing me to take him home since it was becoming quite pricey. He didn't even bother to say bye, he just hung up. If you are in the Chattanooga area DO NOT let Dr. Ashley at Animal Clinic East work with your pet. I have had to use him a couple other times and both times I really regretted it. His levels today were 47 for BUN and 1.9 for creatinine. His doctor will be in around 7 a.m. tomorrow and will rerun his labs and I'm quite sure he will get to come home tomorrow. Not a lot of people understand just how much Manny means to me, but to describe how I've felt this weekend, it's no different than losing a family member unexpectedly. I have hope right now that he will live longer because his numbers did come down, which means there is a higher chance of the medicine maintaining his numbers. He will have  to go on a kidney diet and drink a lot of water and go to the bathroom a lot. I will do whatever it takes to keep him healthy. It's going to be hard not to give him left over scraps, but the alternative is just not an option. We were able to go see him on Saturday and that just made my day. I really think it made his too. My mom, Maddy, my youngest niece, and me loaded up and went to see him. He had the cone of shame on as I call it. They said he kept trying to chew his bandage to his IV line, but I also think it is to keep him from licking. Oh yeah...his itchy, smelly skin problem is from the kidney disease...he has a yeast infection of the skin so I will need to purchase a special shampoo and bathe him frequently.

The last picture he was right under my chair/desk at work. Within the past month or so he started snuggling under there. I really should have noticed he was getting worse, but I just didn't. I do think I have learned that work is important, but I can't let it rule my life and not put my family first. I'm not a workaholic by any means, but I try my best to stay out of trouble but if it means putting my family last, then I just can't do that. I am really dreading going into work tomorrow...but it's a little easier knowing that I might get to bring my buddy home. Once he is home I will have to take him back to the vet within a week to have his levels rechecked to make sure the medicine is doing it's job. I am very thankful for my mom for being here for me through all of this. She has a special connection with Manny in ways no one would believe. Maddy has also been so sweet to me. I'm praying hard Manny gets to come home tomorrow and that the medicine will keep his numbers down.

I will kind of be missing in action for the rest of the year. I have a lot going on and have done a horrible job at posting this year. This has not been my year and I'm ready to kick it goodbye lol. I will definitely be posting about Christmas. I'm not sure when I will be posting again, so just in case...Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Dee

As I mentioned in another post we had an unexpected present from santa show up on our door on Thanksgiving. It was one of his elves. Maddy gave her the name Dee. Thanksgiving night we left Dee on our kitchen table still on her shelf. When we woke up she was no longer there. We looked everywhere for her and finally found her "hanging" out.

I can't remember exactly the order she moved around in after Thanksgiving but here is what I remember. One night she moved over to Maddy's kitchen and sat on top. Maddy of coarse had to touch her, which meant she lost her magic, so she stayed there for two nights in a row. We found her on top of our movie case one morning and on the door jamb of the closet.
She was apparently cold when she came back on night cause we found her here one morning:

I started realizing that Dee just seemed to kind of move around so I wasn't sure what the fuss was all about that I have heard. Little did I know that Dee was just waiting for the official countdown to Christmas to begin. We woke up on December 1 and of coarse Dee had moved from her spot. It wasn't too hard to realize she moved because in the hallway under our countdown to Christmas calender, Dee had a great surprise for Maddy.

Maddy had just said she didn't want a big Christmas tree, but a tiny one. I asked her what color and she said pink. I guess Dee can hear us in the car too:)

On Sunday she landed on our big Christmas tree and had pulled out the lights to decorate with. I guess she got too tired to finish lol.

Maddy is finally starting to learn to look for her. I think it helps that her class has an elf too. She woke up this morning and told me she would be right back. I followed her to see what she was doing and she was looking for Dee.

This is Dee's events from Thanksgiving until December 4. She really has gone pretty easy on us thank goodness, but who knows how the rest of the season will go. Maddy LOVES trying to find her. If she does something good she wants me to tell Dee..it really is cute. No worries though, I am talking to Maddy about how Christmas is Jesus' birthday. I'm thinking of having a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas morning with her that way she knows what the real meaning of Christmas is. She is at such a fun age this Christmas and I'm just loving it!

Thanksgiving 2012

It looks like I may be behind in blogging for the rest of the year. My schedule is so hectic right now. We are currently in the middle of crunch week at church on top of having overtime at work.

We had a great Thanksgiving! My 4 day weekend began Wednesday at 1:33 p.m.I woke up at 4 a.m. to be able to leave early. It was really hard making myself work at that time, but so worth it! Santa needed a little help in getting elf ready so I helped. Once elf was all ready I went and picked up Maddy from school. Thursday morning we woke up with a surprise from santa. I took a video with my phone, however, I ran out of storage as she was opening it. I stopped her for a minute to delete pics and then she continued.

Before this video she asked if it was Christmas. We read the book and she ended up getting really mad because she couldn't touch her. She did give her a name...Dee. We had a bit of a rough start to Thanksgiving as she woke up in a bad mood. I think she was in pain and didn't know how to handle what she was feeling. The last straw was when she started hitting me. She took a time out and I told her she had better turn those listening ears on! It was actually quite cute because as soon as I said that she simply said, "Ok" and turned them on. I had to walk out of the room to laugh. After she turned her listening ears on though she was a total sweetheart the rest of the day. I didn't take any pictures with my camera and I'm glad I didn't try...I found out as we were looking at Christmas lights at Rock City that my memory card was full. I snapped a pic with my phone.

I did try to get her interested in the Macy's parade, but she wasn't having it...she just wanted to play.

On Friday we stayed home for the most part. I was extremely tired Friday. I think all the late nights/early mornings caught up with me because I just could not shake it. We played until it was time to get my oil changed. Saturday was a real fun day. We went shopping with my mom for boots and warm clothes. We had plans of going to Rock City to see the wonderful lights but it was going to be in the low 30's. My mom and I found our boots on sale for $19.98...they are normally $39.99. They kept the doorbuster price and I was so excited. I found Maddy some too, but hers actually cost more than mine...$29.99. After we got our boots we went to Academy Sports for some gloves for Maddy. I ended up finding another cute pair of boots for her for only $12.99. I snatched them up :) Once we got done shopping we were ready for Rock City. I took some pictures on my phone, but will add more as I get them.