Journal Entry # 2

I made it to the weekend!!! Today was no fun. I did, however, find some information out. I took an online workshop from score.org that talked about starting a business. They have a free workbook for you to fill out to help guide you in the process of starting a business. You can pick one up at your local score office or download it on your computer. I'm so impatient on this that I downloaded mine on my computer. I knew I needed a business plan, but didn't understand the importance of it. It basically is what is going to help in the loan process but also helps you see your profits. There is a piece of it I don't know how to do. I don't know how you know what your start up costs and projected profits are going to be before you even begin. I can understand start up costs moreso than profits. It talked about your cashflow and other terms that I'm just not sure about. The advice I'm hearing and reading is just to take it one step at a time. I guess I just want to dive right into the big picture without taking all these small steps. I know business wise that is not good lol. This weekend I plan to try to start my business plan and do maybe do some research on where my center should be. I know where I want it but I'm not sure if it will be beneficial or not. Everywhere I turn I'm hearing/reading to start out with a babysitting service and then into a home daycare and then into a center. This is going to have to be my plan if I want to get started into my passion. I would never be able to live off of a babysitting service. If I were younger I would have no problems doing this, but I'm almost 30. I think at some point I'm going to have to get a job at a daycare center to get some daycare experience in and have more time to start my own daycare. Maddy has been in two daycares total. There were/are good in both facilities. I want to take the good and keep in my facility, but I want to find ways to get rid of the bad I've experienced in both facilities. It's time I take my ideas and put them on paper and figure out this business plan thing so I can move forward. One thing about the funding section I thought was hilarious is they say there are other ways other than traditional ways to get funding. One being savings or from family and friends. That was hilarious to me because I don't know many people who have family or friends that just have a million dollars sitting around. I definitely don't have that kind of cash in savings and if I did you can rest assured I wouldn't be going through the stress I am in my current job. I've looked at statistics before and the daycare I looked at projected their budget was a million dollars or so. That's just so unreal. I've looked into franchise and in order to get financed you have to have $500,000 in collateral and well I don't. I also wouldn't be happy in a franchise. I mean if it were all I could get then I'd take it but it's not my ideal.

I noticed that even though today was a rough day I felt happy inside. I felt like a weight had been lifted somewhat. I'm so happy to start working on a plan and I really can't wait to see where God leads me. If it's not daycare then I know it's somewhere other than where I am currently.

What I learned today: You may not know where to begin with something God lays on your heart, but if you don't do what He's been telling you to for a while He will find an alternate path. Once you realize what is going on and take just a small step in getting started you will find that inner peace you haven't felt in a while due to worrying about things that you shouldn't be. I think I was supposed to be working on this a year ago, but I decided I'd rather hold on to the comfort of my paycheck. It makes me sad to see Maddy's face when she sees me working all the time and it's hard knowing that we live together but I only really get to spend time with her on Saturday because I work from the time we get up to the time we go to bed. I know owning my own business will have demanding hours, but I am in charge of those hours. I can take breaks throughout the day and devote to Maddy. I know if this actually happens ( and I pray it does!) the first year I'll probably be working more than I am now, but it's still so different. I t will be something I am very passionate about and I would be my own boss. I wouldn't have to "punch" a time clock and worry about getting my time in...I'll just have deadlines and that kind of thing. I can take Maddy to work with me everyday and if she's having a "mommy" moment I could just take her out for the day. I know I won't have this up and running before she is out of daycare, but I can dream can't I? Ok, I'm rambling now...I am going to try to journal as much as possible for my own benefit of seeing just what God did do. No matter what I know He has a plan...Jeremiah 29:11

Life Change?

This will be a "boring" post to most, but I think it will be beneficial to me in the future...maybe. I've known for a while that my current job is not where I was going to stay. I didn't think I would anyways. It's no secret that I've wanted to own my own daycare for a while now, but that's such a huge task to overtake that I just have no idea where to begin. Obviously my first plan would be to come up with a business plan. Do you think this girl knows anything about business plans??? That would be a no lol. I've found sample ones online and I really think it's something I could get done if I just gave it a shot. I can get past that obstacle, but the one that gets me everytime is the funding. I want to run a privately owned and operated facility but have no idea where to even begin to look for funding.
For a while now I've had Maddy's daycare on my mind. I've always thought I was supposed to try to get a job there, but I'm not sure. There is no way I could afford to work there. Not to mention we aren't too liked there due to an issue that occurred when we first started going there. I always end up just forgetting the whole thing and just try my best to hold on to the job I have now. I feel like if I'm not careful God is going to "force" me out of my current job to do what I'm supposed to be doing. I know daycare is for me...I have no doubt about that. I just don't know for sure what it is I'm supposed to be doing. I had a talk with my mom today and she told me to pray specifically that God would tell me or show me what it is exactly I'm supposed to be doing and what Maddy's school has to do with anything. I've been so busy crying about my current job that I haven't really focused too much on the daycare thing. I'm hoping I will be open to whatever answer He gives me. The problem is what He usually wants me to do is so far out of my comfort zone. Because of that I wonder if I will really hear what He says for fear of what it might be. I mean I've left my job before without having a back up plan and I had bills such as a car payment that couldn't go unpaid. As I'm thinking back to that time I was just reminded that even though I had no job lined up my needs were met. If my needs were met back then when it was just me and it was mainly a car that was taken care of...won't God take care of me and Maddy that much more? It's so easy to sit here and say that, but to put that into action is almost unbearable to think about. I'm not saying I'm quitting my job but it really wouldn't surprise me if I do in the near future. This will be another prayer journal entry for me to see how the end results end up. I remember writing at the end of last year and wondering what all would happen this year. Honestly this year has been a horrible year...well..not completely, but mostly lol. I feel it's a miracle I've made it this far. I think this year was the start of a new chapter for me. I'm so thankful for God providing me and Maddy our own place and for Him providing the resources for bills to be paid on time and food on the table and Christmas bought. I'm even more thankful that He brought us back to our "home" church. He has done a lot in a year's time. It will be interesting to see where me and Maddy are in life this time next year...hopefully it will be a MUCH better year next year :) I do have high hopes for that and I am confident we will.

I'm not really "advertising" this post anywhere, but if you happen to stumble upon this post and you have ideas on how to start an actual daycare center...please please let me know. I'm at a loss here. I know it takes time to get everything done. Maddy's daycare took 5 years before they were up and running...I don't have 5 years to wait, but again we will see what God has in store. I am also fully aware that God may NOT lead me down this road...right now all things are pointing towards a daycare for me, but it may not be anything like what I am thinking.

Life Happens

I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving. I must say I am beyond excited (despite the yucky couple of weeks I've been having) and cannot wait for our local stations to play nonstop Christmas music. Tonight was the start of Hallmark channel's Christmas movie night. I actually have the schedule handy:

I'm usually not THIS Christmas dorky lol...I found it in a magazine I have and of coarse I am posting it to my fridge :) Come December I will be watching ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas and then flip back over to Hallmark. This girl is serious about her Christmas movie/tv time lol.

I have been browsing the Black Friday Ads on my phone...I have an app :) There aren't too many things I see yet that I think are just amazing. There is one thing on there for Maddy that seems like a great deal so I'm hoping they will have it online as well. I've decided to do my black Friday shopping online...if it's not online then it's not worth it...unless it's like a 60" tv for like $20. I'm contemplating becoming an Amazon Prime member, but I'm just not sure if it's really worth it. It equates to less than $7.99/month but I don't know. If I do then I would probably cancel my blockbuster mail program to make up the difference. Are any of you Amazon Prime members and if so is it really worth it??

Maddy has some strange ways of sleeping.

What you don't see is that one of her legs is dangling down to the floor. I got tickled at her and had to snap the pic. I never know how I will find her when I go in there to check on her. One day I really expect her to not be in her bed and me freak out. It wouldn't surprise me to find her under her bed, in her closet, or even in the rocking chair. Speaking of rocking chair I am thinking about taking it out of her room next year..closer to when she turns 4 and making her room really her room. I'm not putting ALL toys in her room, but some. Right now I don't allow toys to stay in her room because she would probably get out of bed to play.

She has been waking me up unusally lately. I'm not complaining at all...I'm just not sure why the change all of a sudden...I know I know...she's growing up lol. The past couple of weekends and even this morning she will scream, " MOMMY.....I NEED TA POO POO AND PEE PEE!!!!!!" I don't always wake up immediately...I usually end up catching the last word or something and then think I'm dreaming until she does it again lol. I will say I am very proud of her though because every time I have taken her with the exception of one morning, she really has pottied. She's doing SO good on telling me when she needs to pee and I'm really feeling more encouraged. I am hitting the spot of driving down the road and then all of a sudden needing a bathroom right then right there. I think I should carry her potty in my car because at home she uses the big potty. Is this TMI? lol. She is really wanting to wear big girl panties so she has been working hard on potty.

I have most of her Christmas shopping done. I am very thankful the Lord has provided enough money for her Christmas. I am getting her a couple more presents and then I will start working on the rest of my family. I have no idea what I'm doing for them.

This past weekend was a lazy weekend for us. I actually think we both had a touch of something. I got out Saturday morning, but the only reason I did is because I was supposed to have my oil changed and needed to get the supplies. Once we got home we played and watched tv. We did get a good nap in...I was SO thankful for nap that day. I really was beyond tired and had no reason to be. I realized she was being super quiet and had been in her room. I decided to peek in and she was working diligently on getting her shoes on. I tried to snap a picture but she had just finished and was getting up when it took.

I think she was embarrassed when she saw me because she had that look like aw man lol

These are the random glimpses into what has been happening in our life lately. Hope y'all have a great week!

Moms On Call

I thought after having two days off I would feel so much better, but boy was I wrong. Those two days were apparently were the calm before the storm. I seem to be having more of these days lately than not. I usually have an idea when I'm going to be going through rough times, but this hit me completely off guard.

Maddy has really been acting out this week. I thought the two's were bad...HA!!! I do think the three's are worse. She has developed this attitude already when she talks back to me. I swear I think I'm living with a teenager already lol. She is packed FULL of emotions and she wants things done when she wants them. Don't get me wrong...I love her to death, but this has been a very challenging week behavior wise. Last night I threw in the towel after being hit multiple times by her. I had heard about Moms on Call through a blog I read, but didn't really think I needed it nor did I think it would be worth the money. Last night I didn't care lol. The online seminar is $29.95 and they also have a toddler book for $15.95. If I weren't so desperate I would have just bought the book, but I needed answers right then. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I didn't learn a lot of "new" information...they just gave me my confidence back. From the time Maddy was born I've had all kinds of people put into my thoughts that I'm basically not a good parent. I should have done this or I carried her car seat wrong or I didn't have socks on her feet or her blanket was too thin, etc. When you hear these things consistently you really begin to doubt yourself...especially when you grew up in a home where everything you did was wrong. I'm not perfect by any means, but I was so relieved to find out that I've been doing most of what they recommend for toddlers. I did learn a few things that I am implementing. Things such as lay out what the house rules are and there are three: 1) Obey mommy 2) Do not hurt yourself and 3) Do not hurt others (hands are for helping not hurting). I've learned when she pitches a fit it is ok to remove her and put her in a room by herself and let her "cry it out" and then I can go in and talk to her. I've learned things about dinner that I thought were ok but I just wasn't sure. Watching this online video was the equivalent of a mommy spa day lol. I had no idea just how much confidence had been chipped away in  the three short years she's been born, but it was pretty close to empty. I feel renewed in my parenting ability and highly recommend it if you're sitting there wondering what in the world you should do next. I do plan on buying the book in the future.

Halloween Fun

The weekend before Halloween we had a "Halloween fun day." We were supposed to bake cupcakes AND cookies, but my mom's mixer decided to break down so we were only able to bake cupcakes. Maddy and my two nieces took turns putting in the ingredients to make the cupcakes. Once they were done they each got to decorate their own. Maddy had so much fun just pouring the icing on the cupcake, but she didn't like to taste ALL the icing she poured out lol. My nieces are old enough to understand that pouring out the icing might be fun, but it wouldn't taste too good. It was a very trying day. Maddy was unable to get her nap in so her mood was touch and go lol.

Sorry, I rotated it but it isn't showing as rotated on here. Once it was all mixed up they put their cupcake papers in the pan.

 Her dog sitting beside has become her best friend...for now. She has actually named this one...her name is Bella. I LOVE the name :) She alternates favorites every so often.

Maddy's iced cupcake :)

After we finished cupcakes it was time to carve our Mickey Mouse pumpkin! None of the kids really liked to feel the inside of the pumpkin lol. Maddy just did whatever my two nieces did, but I don't think she minded as much as they did...getting out the goop that is lol.

It was a very fun time and we plan on making the cookies this month :)

A Fall Day

This weekend we had a great day outside! Saturday we had morning orchestra rehearsal, which apparently I was too concerned with actually getting there on time I didn't notice I left my keys hanging in the door! Sometimes I really amaze myself:) After practice me and Maddy went with my mom to pick up my nieces to start off our "fall day" fun. My mom got a nice big leaf pile and the kids all enjoyed jumping in...especially Maddy. This was her first time jumping in leaves and she just had a ball!

My camera died after that last picture, so I will have to add more once I get my mom's memory card:) My mom had a great idea of making a bon fire and roasting hot dogs and making s'mores. She wasn't able to obtain a burning permit, so we couldn't make a real bonfire, but we were able to make one in the grill. All the kids took turns roasting hot dogs and marshmallows and they really seemed to enjoy it. They wore oven mitts to keep their hands safe from the heat. It was an extra fun day and something to remember for a while! I can't wait to share the pics :)

Halloween 2012

I'm way behind in blogging. Last week I actually got up early to start work, which meant going straight to bed after work...we are on OT.

I took Maddy costume shopping at the beginning of October to pick out her costume. She chose a ladybug. The day before Halloween I was telling her she was going to dress up in her ladybug costume tomorrow. She got so upset because she said she wanted to be a cat. I was so torn on what to do. Do I go get her a cat costume or do I just keep the ladybug.I decided that it was best for everybody's sake to just keep the ladybug costume. It all worked out because on Halloween she had no problems being a ladybug. She was such a cute one too!! She was a ladybug when she was a year old so now I can compare pictures :)

Halloween 2012 vs. Halloween 2012 lol. We went to our church's trunk or treat. Maddy did so good. We sat for a long time and watched everybody come through. Maddy liked seeing other ladybugs there. It was then her turn to go get some candy. She was too busy watching everybody else she didn't notice people with candy in their hands. I didn't bother having her say trick-or-treat to anybody because it was just so crowded. I did try to get her to say thank you, but she was way too preoccupied. We had a lot of fun and she has enough candy to last her till at least Christmas.