Life Changes

For at least a couple of years I have had this feeling that I would be leaving my current job. The only way I would leave on my own is if I could get another job or start my daycare. This has scared me because Maddy depends on me to provide for her. I used to stay stressed out constantly from worrying about it, but I was able to let it go. My fear has come back and this time it seems even stronger than before. I don't know what is going on in my life, but I feel God is preparing me for some changes. I automatically assume my job but it could be anything really. Last week I had a horrible week. Every day was just constant bad thing after bad thing. The icing on the cake...apart from my car not starting...was when I read my daily calender page. The day was September 8 and here is what it said, "If the job you've been doing ends,or the provision you've known shuts off, or the fulfillment level of your work and activities ceases, or something major happens to change the status of your life, don't be alarmed. These could be signs of a change God is doing in your life. He may be getting you ready to enter into a new and exciting season. God's Word says that those who love Him and live His way will bear fruit into old age and always be fresh and flourishing." As I read that, my heart just sank. I do feel my time is coming to an end, I just don't know what's coming next. I am trying to just trust God to take care of me and Maddy but it's not always as easy as cake lol. I have had two very real and very vivid dreams that I am still trying to figure out what they mean. One I understand a little...it is about my old friend, but it was a sad dream...meaning I just felt sad in my dream and he was sad. The dream that really has me puzzled is a God dream. I can't remember specifics now but it was like I was having a revival. My heart was so on fire for God and I was shouting something and I felt as if the dream would have continued a little more I was going to start speaking in tongue. I woke up thinking man, I wanna be THAT close to God in real life! For now all I can do is my best and make sure I am following God. I know where one door closes another one opens, but it can still be a scary ride. I will end with a prayer that is on today's page. "Lord, when it's time for me to do something different, help me not to cling to the past or be afraid to move in to the future You have for me. My times are in Your hands, and I know that I am secure as long as I can walk through them all with You. Give me strength, courage, health, wisdom, revelation, and faith for the journey. I trust You to keep me on the right path and to continue giving me the light I need for the step I'm on.

'Twas the Week Before the Cruise...

In just ten days we will be driving down to Atlanta, GA to hop on board our plane to Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. We will be spending the night there and then on Maddy's 2nd birthday we will be boarding a shuttle to the cruise ship to wish Maddy a happy 2nd birthday!!! I will be talking about this nonstop because I am beyond ready to leave my problems behind for a few days. Close to Maddy's 1st birthday I made the comment that I would love the opportunity to take Maddy on a cruise for her 2nd birthday...little did I know that wish would come true. We are going on a 3 day cruise to the Bahama's on Carnival's Imagination ship.

This is where we will be spending the day on Saturday, I believe. We will have access to the Wyndham resort in Nassau as well as the beach.
I've been trying to think about what to get Maddy for her birthday. Her party is on September 30th at 7:00 p.m. I've been torn for a while now because I really wanted to get her power operated car, but $300 for a birthday gift is just not something I believe in. I finally figured out the solution on Sunday. I can get her the car for Christmas through layaway options and then I can stick to my smaller gift items for her birthday. One thing I am getting her for her birthday is an Elmo. Originally I was going to get her a tickle me Elmo. While I was at the store I found a potty Elmo. I decided to get both but make one for Christmas. I will give her the potty Elmo for her birthday in hopes it will make her want to start using the potty. I also got her two baby dolls and I may save one for Christmas...I haven't decided yet. Here they are:


She was actually with me when I bought these babies and there was another baby that made her laugh but the laugh the baby made seriously just pierced your ears and I quickly decided that was a NO! I have no idea if she will really like these babies. I feel quite certain she will Elmo just because she knows him...she calls him "Melmo!" I felt peaceful about her presents so that is what she is getting from me. I found lots of cute stuff so I am really glad Christmas is around the corner. It's kinda funny because she goes all year with no new toys and within a three month span time (birthday and Christmas) she is flooded with toys. I cannot wait to see her in her birthday dress and just see her enjoy herself. I am hoping she will sit with mommy on the plane instead of Pops...she is a real Pops' girl. I am hoping to come back with a lot of pictures from this trip and video as well, but I'm not sure how long me keeping up with camera's will last...especially with this being my first cruise as well and I will want to take it all in with my baby girl! I must now go finish my mounds of reading...I have make up reading to do from when I was sick last night. I hope you all have a wonderful week and try your best to give your problems to the Lord. I am working on that myself :)

Whew With Some VIdeo!

My week just feels like one constant stretch of bad day after bad day. This week started with some flooding around our town due to tropical storm Lee. The rain caused me to lose a $10 coupon I had because I did not want to get Maddy out in the bad weather. On top of a high dollar coupon expiring, I ended up with the stomach flu. Today is my first real day of feeling better and completely fever free. My poor mom has had the same kind of week and I added to her pile by seeing if she could get Maddy for me on Tuesday. Thankfully she was able to do so because I felt so puny! My mom and step-dad took Maddy out on a dinner date to O'Charley's. She had a hamburger and fries. Since I have been feeling so bad this week I didn't take one look at school but remembered I had something due on Wednesday. I tried so hard to complete the assignment but around midnight I just couldn't hold my eyes open anymore and my throat and ears started hurting pretty bad and then I took my fever and yes...my fever decided to return. Trying to work with a 102.6 fever is basically pointless so not only am I being questioned on why I did this and that at work and why I'm not meeting my numbers, I started this week out not meeting because I couldn't sit for any length of time. I know I am kind of all over the place right now so let me try to sum this up: Monday...woke up to flooding rains, lost a $10 coupon, was completely exhausted the entire day then I became sick and realized why I had been so tired, Tuesday...first day back to work for the week due to Labor day, my manager is on me about last week's numbers, running a fever, extremely nauseous and had to lay down for most of the day, got way behind in this week's numbers, had to get my mom to get Maddy and take care of her. Wednesday...Woke up with a horrible headache...started feeling some better and was able to sit up without getting sick...still did not meet my numbers at work, fever went back up, got a zero on my school assignment. Now here we are to Thursday. I at least made my numbers but I needed to produce a higher number. I will find out tomorrow if I met what my personal goal was, which is just what I was behind split in half. I have tons of school to make up and I'm still so tired. Now for a more positive outlook. One thing that has helped me get through this week is knowing that in exactly two weeks from today me and Maddy and my mom and step-dad will be headed down to Atlanta, GA to catch a plane to Ft. Lauderdale, FL. We will spend the night in Ft. Lauderdale and then when we wake up Friday we will catch a shuttle to miami to jump on our ship that is taking us out of this country!!!! I am soooo excited. I am praying the weather cooperates. Maddy already has some of her suitcase packed and this weekend I will probably go ahead and pack her clothes. Here in TN our weather is starting to cool down some. We are still going to have some warm days, but I don't think Maddy will need two more months of summer clothes so I am starting to put some away.  I have another post that I may try to do tonight after I work on school some, but if I don't have time tonight then def tomorrow because I am really struggling with my emotions right now. Thank you for taking time to listen to my ramblings and I will end by posting a video of Maddy.

Here is what our house is like when the cousins come over to play. All their hair had the just got out of bed look to it because it was the day after fourth of july and we were all exhausted lol.

I try to film in short segments so I can post on here without boring everybody. I sometimes get carried away in trying to get her to do something that I forget about the time. I don't know how to edit my video's to shorten the time of them so you may just want to watch the first 30 seconds of this one. One of these days I will get the hang of all this editing stuff lol

This shows more of Maddy's personality. I love how she says, "No!" and that's usually how she says it all the time unless she is really mad, then she screams no or just lays in the floor screaming and kicking. Right after she hit her car with her golf club if you look closely you can see her trying not to smile when I said, "Ouch!" I've never known a child that would intentionally try not to smile or laugh...she has done that for quite some time now and she looks like my uncle, mom, and me when she does that...so cute!

Vlog

So I have run across something that is new to me...I know it is nothing new to society, but I am way behind times.  Apparently some people are making video blogs to document their life and posting it on youtube.  I watched this lady discuss her pregnancy journey and found other people who are doing the same. For the record I did not do a search on YouTube for pregnant people lol. It was a video that popped up from another video I watched that showed one of the babies from TeenMom. Seeing this vlog made me wonder how in the world you would get people interested in watching what you have to say about your life.  I do not think I could ever do a vlog because I rarely fix myself up and I will not post a video of myself without being all "dolled" up hehe. Have any of you had any experience with vlogs? What are you opinions of them? I think they are really neat if you have time, which I do not, but I would also imagine they could be faster than writing out a blog. I kinda want to intertwine the normal blogging with video blogging and do my own thing. It would be fun to do a video post here and there. I might have to experiment with this a little and see how I feel about it. I do have a tendency when I talk to start going off topic and rambling about other things that had nothing to do with my original topic so vlogging may not be an option for me at all lol. I think it would be neat to upload a video of me and Maddy at the computer while I'm doing a vlog, but she needs to learn to listen to mommy first. Well, I am done with all my required assignments for tonight, so I think I need to hit the bed and get some much needed sleep. I really hope I can not stay behind this week in school and actually get a little ahead. I hope you all enjoy your labor day and I may try to show you all the cute clothes I got Maddy today :)

Working Out

I needed a small break from school and thought I would go ahead and write about mine and Maddy's weekend. We really haven't done anything real special or neat or fun, but did get our usual retail therapy in lol. For the record I am not rich nor do I have a lot of extra money...I do coupon and I do take advantage of sales as I can. With Labor day being tomorrow, most stores had some really good deals. I do not generally spend much money on myself because I care more about finding cute things for Maddy instead of wasting money on me. I decided to break down and buy me a couple of things this weekend.  I am joining the YMCA one way or another. I am really interested in doing Zumba and when my mom told me she wanted to go the zumba class I knew I had to go ahead and join. I love fashion even though you could never tell from the way I dress. After becoming a mom I feel confused on how I should dress. I used to shop in the junior department but the clothes that are out today are just disgustingly gross and not very modest. I can't find many cute things I can wear in the women's department so I find myself avoiding buying anything at all. I want to change this because I think I will start feeling a little better about myself. I am taking baby steps and decided to get me a couple of cute workout outfits for the gym. I got my first outfit at target and will post a pic below straight from target's website.

Sleepy

I will apologize up front for this post being on the complaining side of emotions. I just need to get it out so I can hopefully move on. I noticed in my last two classes I was starting to lose my steam.  I thought my not being able to stay awake was from me just not wanting to do the work. I have started out these set of classes falling asleep before I finish my assignment.  For whatever reason I just cannot hold my eyes open anymore. I'm beginning to wonder if I burned myself out with my first two set of classes, or if the work load is just getting heavier. I am very disappointed in myself for turning my first two assignments in late. I am trying something new tonight. Instead of staying in my room, which desperately needs to be cleaned, I am staying in the living room with lights on! I'm hoping this weekend I can get a little ahead in my classes that way I can actually get some sleep here and there lol.

In other news...this afternoon when I picked up Maddy I got to see a little more of how she acts while away from me. I must say she was being very silly. She was on her hands and knees on the circle rug and she was going back and forth making some sounds and then just laughing. Her teacher thought it was funny as well. I'm so glad she is starting to come out of her shell at school so her teachers can see what an amazing personality she has. I must say it is all thanks to this class.  I didn't realize until her last class that she wasn't really talking. This class she is using her words and laughing quite a bit from what her teacher said. They are working hot and heavy with her to become potty trained, but are not forcing it. This week they are working on turn taking which Maddy already knows that concept a little. She likes to hold the cup and take a sip and then let me take a sip as well. I think that is all the Maddy update for now. I guess I better go hit the books because I have two assignments to do tonight that will require quite a bit of time :) I will end with a music video because I'm not a big fan of just using words on my blog lol.

Weekend

There was nothing super special happening at our house this weekend.  I had finals to prepare for so me and Maddy pretty much stayed close to home.  We did get out Saturday to go to Babies R Us and a few other places. I had been wanting Olive Garden and was planning on waiting until I got paid and attempting to take Maddy by ourselves, or invite her dad along for the company and low and behold my family decided to celebrate all the August birthday's for dinner and went to....Olive Garden! I got this

and Maddy got this: 
In case it's hard to tell I got chicken alfredo and Maddy got the kids cheese ravioli. She actually pointed to the menu to tell me what she wanted to eat this time. I was just going to let her share off mine but I couldn't resist letting her choose what she wanted. She ate very well and had a grand ol time. We had lots of babies (lots for my family anyways). We had baby Aria who is no longer a baby anymore. She is 15 months now and is walking. That is such a miracle! Maddy was very fascinated by her. Then we also had my new nephew Aiden. He was sporting his "My aunt is awesome" onesie and I loved it! We also had Maddy of coarse and then my youngest niece Abby. Her sister Sara was at a friend's house. This was the first time in a long time since me and Maddy had visited with the entire family and we had a great time! I stayed up most of the night Saturday to try to finish my final project, but I came no where close.  We spent Sunday with Maddy's dad and they played while I worked. I ended up having to ask for his help with my project because I was just completely confused on what needed to be done. Compared to most broken home situations I have to say Maddy lucked out because we have always decided to put Maddy first and try our best to be friends. We have our ups and downs with each other, but never anything serious. He was willing to stay and help me until I finished, which btw wasn't until 2:15 a.m. I hope you all had a great weekend as well!!