Weekly Hit

So, I'm not so happy with the video I'm having to use for this week's hit. The official video is too provocative and I don't want that trash on my blog lol. As you can see, this week's song is from Eden's Crush and it's called Get Over Yourself. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what stage of life prompted me to get this song lol. I want to say it was after my divorce, but I think I already knew of the song before then so I have no idea where I first heard it. If you can't tell already I like all kinds of different music. I don't always listen them all though, it just depends on mood I'm in at the time. Obviously this is a man hater song so if I've just gone through a break up or if I'm with a guy that has hurt me and I need to vent a little...this is one song I pull out and just sing my little heart out while driving. When I'm in that situation and I'm singing this song, it helps me feel strong again. I know that probably sounds so weird but it does. Once I get enough man hater songs out of my system I feel much better and feel as if I can get through that particular situation. For the record I don't hate men...yeah, I've been done dirty by a lot of men but I know there are good ones out there.

Oh, My My, MY...

As usual I have a lot on my mind, but this time it's good thoughts lol. As much as I would love to just say what is on my mind as I usually do, I'm not. I was originally gonna do my weekly hit post and hopefully let that take care of my wanting to write, but as I was looking in my tunes I realized that wouldn't suffice. I've had some pretty good conversation this week...it's all lead to the past. Yesterday I had the past on my mind a whole lot. You always hear, "Leave the past behind" or "The past is the past" Well, that's not entirely true. The past is what helps make us who we are. If you are scared to trust, it's because of something that happened in your past. If you are scared to love again, it's because of something that happened in your past. If you are scared to eat leftover food, it's because you had a bad experience with it in the past. We become who we are partly because of the past. I don't think that our past defines who we are, but it is a big part of what we have become. I do think you can leave the past in the past...but you have to learn from the experience first and then you can leave it behind you. There are very few things in my past that I regret. For the most part, even though I may have hated the situation I am pretty thankful for my past because it has helped me become the person I am today. I have wondered what we would be like if we didn't experience the things we have experienced in our past. For some they could love and trust a whole lot easier...for some they probably wouldn't be as strong as they are today. I'm beginning to think I'm not making any sense lol. I think it's time for me to end this and try to find my remote. I might get my weekly hit post done tonight as well :) Happy hump day everybody...I know I for one am so ready for the weekend...w00t w00t!

I Wish

I wish a lot of things to be honest, but what I am thinking about tonight is I wish the Lord would tell me up front whether people are entering my life for a season, or if they'd be staying around. I seem to have a consistent shift of people coming and going from my life. It seems like once I become attached to someone whether it be attached as friends or romantically, they leave. Every best friend I make ends up leaving my life or growing apart from me. My best friend in elementary school ended up moving to a different state the year we entered high school. Do you know how hard it is to have to face your first day of high school without your best friend? Then the next best friend (not that my first best friend has been replaced because she is still one of my best friends) I met while working at CSAS. I worked there for 3.5 years and I really enjoyed my friend's friendship. She ended up meeting a guy and they got married and she started not making time for me. Once I quit the school we very rarely speak and I hate that because we had so much in common. I did forget a best friend...it was my preschool best friend. I think we grew apart because once we started kindergarten we didn't see each other very often and we had new friends in our classroom. My last best friend was another real hard one on me. We met in training class and I started hanging out with "the group", maybe I should say outcasts of that class lol but anyways we got to know each other pretty good and talked all the time. Out of everybody in our group we seemed to have the most in common. He ended up saying he couldn't be my friend anymore and that was that. That was another hard one on me because I thought we could be life long friends and for once I would have a really good friend to hang out with that didn't mind Maddy. These aren't the only people that have left my life, but these are the best friends who have left whether it be their choice or someone elses'. As people enter my life I find myself constantly wondering why it is they have come into my life. I'd at least like to know up front whether it's safe to get attached to the person or not lol...is that really too much to ask for? I will just keep my eyes on the Lord and if I end up attached to someone that is only here for a season, then the worst thing that happens is I end up feeling really sad for a little bit. These are my thoughts tonight...

Weekly Hit

So this week's song is Daniel Powter's "Bad Day." I first heard this song on American Idol believe it or not and I just fell in love with the song. Last year I was having a really bad day so I decided to look up the video and thankfully there was one and I almost think the video made the song even better...it is such a cute video. While I am working on letting God handle all of my worries and fears and what nots I resort to music to express how I feel, so if I am having a bad day I put this song on and try to watch the video and I either end up laughing or crying lol. I hope you all enjoy this video as much as I did.

Repeat Info

Ok, so I have posted this all over facebook and all over twitter...I cannot leave out blogger lol. I start my orientation for school on March 28. My enrollment advisor told me it would be 3 weeks long. The good news is there is no grade...I just have to participate in class and turn in my assignments. Oh man...that sounds so weird to me lol. I also found out today that I was originally slated to start this orientation next week...HA!! My old enrollment advisor never informed me of this. I prefer my old enrollment advisor as far as actually speaking to, but my new advisor seems more thorough and like he will get things done. He came across rude at first and I gave the same attitude back...I think he must have realized how he was sounding because he came off his attitude, but he is very dry lol. If I successfully complete this orientation, then I start my actual courses and voila...I will be a college student once again. Whereas I am very excited to start this chapter in my life, I must admit it comes with some other mixed emotions. I am very nervous that I might fail a class which would result me in having to pay for the class up front and I don't have any extra money to spare. I am worried about how I will get everything done with Maddy and work and now school. Soon after starting the process of enrolling with school I did have a semi break down moment with my mom because I thought I would have help from Maddy's dad to help me with her so I could get my assignments done. Once that option was gone I freaked because I don't get any down time as it is. The most I get is once I get off work at 10:00 p.m. and that usually only leaves me an hour if I want to get good sleep. As I cried on the phone with my mom over how I was going to do it all she was able to offer some comfort. My goal is to not ask for any help from anybody. Surely I can get my homework done throughout the week once I get off of work. I don't want to have to depend on anybody for help...especially since I know everybody has their own life to deal with without trying to help me with mine. The good thing about this college is you only do 2 classes at a time and that's considered full time. I do think the devil is trying to make me worry cause as soon as I got off the phone I instantly started having these "worries" crop up and I know worry is not from the Lord. Thankfully my friend Wendy's blog reminded me to let go of the worry and just give it to God. I wish I could just instantly do this all the time, but unfortunately I struggle greatly with this. Her blog not only helped me in my school situation, but it also helped me with work. This week has gone exceptionally well. I have been amazed at how well it has gone. I started to not enjoy the week for fear it would all go away, but I decided to claim the victory in Jesus' name. Today hasn't gone AS well as the other days this week, but instead of stressing out and fretting over it I just decided to let God handle it all and just keep on keepin on until God decides otherwise. Thank you Wendy for your post today on the secrets of marriage. It has really helped me in different ways really. Anyways...I got off track. I think I got all my excitement out for now so you probably won't hear about my school again until I am complaining because it's too much work lol.

Potty Training...Start Your Engines!

I have been so excited lately because whenever Maddy "dirties" her diaper she will look at me and point and say "dirty." I ask her if she is dirty and she says, "Yes." I then proceed to ask her if she needs a new diaper and she says, "Yes." For the most part if she says yes to a new diaper she will not fuss one bit when changing her diaper. She isn't full force ready to start potty training, but she is making steps in that direction. It's a bittersweet moment really. I want her to grow as a person and learn to become independent, but on the other hand I want her to stay my little baby forever. I think I am going to purchase her potty this weekend and put it in the bathroom and whenever I go to the bathroom, she can just sit on her potty and let her get comfortable with it. Once she starts having more and more dry diapers for naps and shows a little more potty training readiness, I will then start the task of potty training. That sounds so weird...I can't believe she is as grown up as she is...where did the time go??

Third Times the Charm

I've been meaning to write this for a while now, but something has prevented me everytime I go to write it. I was trying to think of what I could write about tonight and I was gonna write about mine and Maddy's weekend, but then this hit me so here we are. A few months ago I announced on facebook that Maddy would soon have a new little cousin to play with. We found out that she is going to have a little boy cousin. This is a new concept to me as I had envisioned it being a girl, but it will be a cute little boy.I'm hoping Maddy will adjust to seeing me hold a baby. With baby Aria she always wants me to step away from here lol. I completely understand her feelings on it though because from day one she has always had my undivided attention. She is my world day and night. Maddy is a good little mommy. She always wraps her baby up in a blanket, put her on her tummy, and pat her back until she is asleep. She also loves on her baby and makes sure she has her passy, then puts her back to sleep. I hope since she is growing and learning to play mommy she will be ok with her new little cousin.