Random pics

Well, I do have a few things I could talk about, but I just don't want to right now so I found a cd of pictures in my car and am just now looking through them to see what they are. I am soo excited because it has some pictures from Florida that I thought were gone forever...the water that year, 2008, was so amazing. I bet you are thinking the first pics I show are that of Florida...WRONG!! lol. The first picture I am going to share looks a whole lot like Maddy...this picture is actually a my youngest niece Abby. We were celebrating her birthday at Ryan's and I am guessing she is maybe 3?

I will post a picture of Maddy now so you can try to compare them:

These probably aren't the best pictures to compare too, but they resemble each other a whole whole lot.

This is a picture of Manny as a puppy. He was the cutest little puppy but he kept me up literally every 4 hours! He loved being with me at the apt and would follow me around and try to get me to play. The few times I actually washed dishes(haha)he would always climb up on the dishwasher and try to help me. It was so cute...to this day he will still follow me around the kitchen, but he doesn't try to climb in the dishwasher anymore. I hope someday really soon God would bless me and Maddy with a home of our own.

This is another Maddy look alike..that is Abby again, but I have no idea how old..i guess 2.5

Here I am taking her down the slide...it was hard climbing up there with her in my arms lol. I used to have short hair too...it's so amazing how things change over time.

This is my beautiful niece Sara after she had just gotten her ears pierced. She was 5 and she was so proud of herself for not crying, but you could tell she was in pain.

Well...I think I have shared enough random pics now lol.

Weekly Hit

I wish I could say I have this song in support of the troops over in Iraq. To be honest I ran across this song soon after I got dumped. I was hurting so bad and this song was catchy and made me feel better so I got it. I can say now though that this song is for all the men and women who have served in our military. I cannot imagine what they along with their families go through on a daily basis. It takes a strong and special person to be in the military as well as be a husband or wife to a military person. If you have served in the military, I say thank you for fighting for me and Maddy.

Weekly Hits

I actually wasn't going to write tonight, but I had a great idea hit me half way through the day. Some people have a "weekly" something or other on their blog...so why not me? I have decided to do a weekly hit on my blog, which is where I look through my iTunes and post a video of a song and talk about why I have it in my tunes. The first song up is Addison Road All That Matters. I will go ahead and put the video in here and then write below the video as to why I have this song:

The first time I heard this song was on the radio. I love the sound of the music, but once I listened to the lyrics I instantly had to have it. I struggle with my self image a whole lot. This song helps me to remember that my outward appearance means nothing to the Lord, I am beautiful to Him just the way I am...and that's all that matters. There are many times or days that I feel inferior to people and if I can make myself remember this song it helps me to refocus on the Lord and realize that i AM somebody and even if people on earth thought I was ugly it wouldn't matter because the Lord thinks differently. I also know that beauty is on the inside more than the outside...I strive to make sure I am a beautiful person inside and if I succeed in that, it will shine outwardly.

Turning the Page

Believe it or not I am starting to run out of things to talk about. I will probably take a very very short break here soon in order to charge up my thoughts again. I look forward to my nightly posts...it has really helped me to get rid of my stress and worry and give it to the Lord. I'm not completely stress/worry free, but a lot more than I would be if I weren't writing. Life has been so up and down for me for a while now. Not too long ago I was talking about how I felt so lost in life...not in a spiritual way, but in a directional way. I don't really have any idea exactly where I am going, but instead of feeling lost and alone and sad, I'm starting to feel excitement along with a little anxiousness. It's only been a little over a week, but I feel as if I have already turned to a new page in my life and I couldn't be any more thrilled than I am right now. All in all I just want the Lord to drive my life and not me. I kept it short and sweet tonight, but I will add a song of the night video below this. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and enjoy it with the ones you love :)

Bieber Fever?

Oh man...I cannot believe I am even writing this. Over several weeks, Wally from Way-Fm's Total Axxess has had some reports on Justin Bieber. Wally says he is not a Bieber fan, but I am really starting to question him. I will be the first to admit that my first time ever hearing about Justin Bieber I just rolled my eyes and was like yeah whatever. Anytime I heard the name I was just so turned off. After listening to Wally and the song snippet he plays when talking about Justin, I noticed myself liking it more and more. The tune was very catchy and I found myself singing it in my head. I will include the video to the snippet they play on way-fm at the bottom of this post. What really got me a little more interested in Justin was when I heard Wally talking about Justin's mom and how involved she is with his career. I did not know that she hired a traveling tour pastor to go on the road with them. I know just having a tour pastor does not make you a christian, but I give his mom a thumbs up because she is really trying to protect her son from the negative side of "Hollywood." I have been watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on Hulu to catch up on the episodes I missed and they had a 2 hour special on the Brown family. Long story short they had a daughter that was texting and driving and she ended up going off the road and her truck flipped. She wasn't wearing a seat belt and was ejected from the truck and ended up dying. Her family was left heartbroken and they decided to try to make a difference in other people's lives by showing them what can happen if you text and drive. It is a very heart wrenching story and if I still texted while driving, I would have stopped after seeing this episode. This family also has a 12 year old daughter who is struggling just as much as her parents with her sister's death. This daughter's name is Katrina and she wants to be an actress. Their vacation was to NYC and they had a surprise for Katrina...they brought a few of her friends to NYC and they all got to go see Justin Bieber and hang out with him. After seeing how he handled himself and the situation and what he had to say about it I gained a new respect for him. He seems to be really down to earth as well as a humble human being. As I watched him interact with this family and other fans, he didn't portray that he was this big celebrity and all must bow down to him. He has a pure look to him and his voice. Do I personally have the Bieber fever...I wouldn't really say so. I do like some of his songs and I also have at least some respect for him based off what I have seen and heard so far. I just hope that he stays true to who he is and not let the ways of this world turn him into something he isn't. He has a good message to kids..."Never say never." I was not aware that he got discovered by posting videos of him singing on youtube. I went and checked them out and he has some amazing talent. Not only can he sing, but he can play the drums, piano, and guitar. He is an entertainer and a great dancer as well. He tells everybody to never give up on their dreams cause they can happen and it inspires me on my dream because I do feel that my dream will never happen. I wouldn't say running my own daycare is exactly my dream....it is a part of my dream. I have thought about what exactly my dream is all day today and for a while I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I wanted to do. In a way, I want to be like an extreme makeover, but for kids. This may not even make sense but I would love to go work with a child for a little bit and help build their self esteem or whatever their situation may be and help them turn their lives around. I want to be that safe haven for kids and help change lives one child at a time. I think I would find a lot of enjoyment in working with the make a wish foundation, even though that's not exactly what I am talking about when I say I want to change kids lives. If I had to be a motivational speaker...I'd choose to target daycares and get daycares fired up in running an amazing daycare that provides a safe, loving, and happy environment. I have a few ideas of things that would be meaningful to me, but I have no idea how or where to get started. Bottom line I just know I want to go love on kids and help them see their worth in God's eyes. Anyways, I have gotten way off course here lol. I do believe in dreams coming true...not so sure I believe that same philosophy in terms of love haha. I think if you work hard and pray over your dreams they will eventually happen, but it's all in God's timing. I don't think, however, that striving to accomplish your dream should become number one priority over God OR family/relationships. So this is my take on Justin Bieber...he seems to be a pretty good kid with a good message and has some real talent.

In My Daughter's Eyes

This song says everything there is to say. I can't listen to this song without crying. For Maddy's 1st birthday party, I had her dad make a slideshow of her first year and this is one of the songs I used. If I can find the dvd of the slideshow and figure out how to put it on my blog I will put it on here. There is no way of explaining to someone who doesn't have kids just what a blessing kids are. I have always had a passion for kids and thought I knew for the most part what it would be like having my own, but I really had no clue. Before Maddy was even born she was teaching me things. I will never forget my "aha" moment about how the Lord loves me when I was 7 to 8 months pregnant with her. I was sitting on my bed thinking about her and I was thinking about how there was nothing she could do that would make me love her any less. I thought about all the trouble she could possibly get into and how I would handle it. I knew I would have to discipline her, but it wouldn't be out of hate. It was in that moment that I realized that that is how God feels about us. He loves us unconditionally and when we do mess up, He is there to correct us...out of love. When I realized that I just sat and cried and that moment right there made my relationship with the Lord a lot stronger. Maddy makes me better myself everyday. Just as the song says she keeps me going when I feel like giving up...I can't give up...I don't want to teach her to be a quiter. I can tell you there are many days that I feel so ready to give up, but I see her and know I have to keep fighting...I have to keep giving it my all. I want to be a good/positive influence on her and give her the tools she needs to live a happy and successful life. I want to give her the best...and that doesn't always mean in a financial way. Being financially stable is important I believe, but money doesn't buy happiness...it doesn't define who we are. I want to make sure I spend good quality time with her and make some amazing memories. Today when we went on a walk she turned herself kinda sideways in her stroller so she could me and she was just a talking, so I talked back to her and then started to play with her by barely touching her hand and then quickly pulling my hand away and she just thought that was the funniest thing. So we played that for a little bit and then she added a new twist to it by putting her head down as if she were hiding. I asked where Maddy was and she'd pop her head up and laugh and then want me to get her hand. I'm sure she won't remember that moment, but it's something that will be etched in my memory forever. Another memory I'll have forever is over the weekend I decided to be goofy and she was pushing her shopping cart she has and I'd run towards her and grab it and make it look like she hit me and then I'd run back a little bit and then come running right back towards her...she laughed sooo hard. I'm really not sure I've even heard her laugh as hard as she did that night and my heart was just grinning. There is nothing better then hearing your child laugh, especially when you are the reason why.

Are You There God? It's Me Again, Heather

My week has started out extremely rough. Every time I conquer one problem, another one seems to crop up. One thing I am trying to do is deal with the things that stress me out better. I think my first reaction will always be to panick at first, but as long as I can catch myself and get the worry and stress under control and back in the Lord's hands then i am happy with that. On top of my work issue, I got a phone call from Maddy's daycare stating she was running a fever and that I needed to come get her. My job is not very forgiving when you have to take off. I can't just call in because it does affect my job, but I can't work with Maddy in the house because when she sees mommy she wants mommy. Even if that wasn't the case, my mom is the only person who is able/willing to keep her for me and she has to be at court tomorrow on top of meeting with some out of town people for her job. At this point I'm really not sure how I'm going to do tomorrow, but I'm trying not to worry about it until then...and even then i need NOT worry about it because the Lord has everything under control. I just have to do my best and He will provide the rest. I'm not real sure what's going on with Maddy...she's got a 101 fever, real sleepy, and some gas. I wondered if she had an ear infection when I first got her, but I really have no idea. I will be taking her to the doctor tomorrow unless she miracously(sp?) wakes up with no fever and acts a hundred percent fine. My problems probably don't sound so bad, but because I'm right in the middle of them it seems bad. Well, I just needed to vent or ramble for a little bit and now I'm going to go crash as I am so tired. I hope everybody is having a great week so far!