Singles Connection

Two posts in one night...I'm on fire lol. Not really, I just had these two things on my mind so I posted one, worked out, and now posting the other one. In years past my mom talked a lot about the singles ministry and how she feels that has been put on her heart. She actually wrote a book about her own experience being single and remarrying. At the time she talked about this hot and heavy I was single myself and yearning for a mate.  My heart has always been geared towards children, and still is, but is expanding to include singles...mostly single moms because that is the journey I am on. I remember years ago when all I could think about was the fact that I was single and how I wanted God to send my mate so we could start our family. I was lonely. I actually ended up marrying someone I never should have and told myself I can make it work out. Guess what....I couldn't and it ended in divorce. God gave me every opportunity to not marry and I chose to ignore them all and demand I get married. Those were some very dark days in my life. You think you can't feel any lonelier when you are single, but I can promise you you can feel much MUCH worse if you are in the wrong relationship. I myself have asked, "How do you become content being single?" I think as a single person who so desperately wants a relationship, that is a common question that is asked. Saying the answer out loud is very easy, it's getting yourself to that point that is the hard part. After I got divorced I was single for five years. I became interested in a few guys during that time and I prayed and prayed that maybe they would be the one God had for me. Turned out they weren't and during that time I just didn't understand. Looking back at that time now, I can see perfectly the reason why one of them didn't work out and I am just so thankful for those so called "unanswered prayers." I'm not doing a great job, but the point I am trying to make is during those five years of singleness I was still begging for God to send me my mate. I was still lonely. I still wanted children. I could say with my mouth that God is all I needed, but I couldn't live it. I don't know the scripture or the exact wording, but the bible does talk about how we have to be satisfied and content with what is in our cup before God will give us more. You have to be a good steward of what you have as well. I truly believe that you have to be content being single before you can ever be content being married. The question still is how do you do that. There is no step 1, 2, and 3...it's just something you have to get yourself to. It took me years obviously...five is quite a long time. I will never forget right before I met Maddy's dad. I had been struggling still with being single and I tried and tried to give it to Jesus, but I kept grabbing it back. One morning at church it just clicked and happened. I prayed about it and I instantly felt peace. I don't know what happened and why it took so long, but after that morning at church I was truly okay being single. I was truly okay if God wanted me to be single forever and I never had kids. Just three short months after that moment I met someone. I'm not saying that once you give it to God that He will just instantly give you a mate....this is just my experience. I also want to remind you that even after you do become content being single and you find a man standing before you, don't assume it's from the Lord. I should never have assumed the person I met was from the Lord. I should have kept my guard up and paid attention to the red flags both me and my mom found before I even started dating him. To wrap this all up,there is no one way to becoming content being single...it's a journey. Each journey is unique and how I got there will not be how you get there. I know the days and nights can feel lonely, but just keep praying and make sure you are praying from your heart and not just what you think you need to say. Keep giving it to Jesus and one of those times it will be for real and you will find an unexplainable peace inside of you. I highly recommend if you are female to read books from Michelle McKinney Hammond. I hate to read, but I was able to read her books and loved them.

I don't have much time to do "me" things anymore (and I am BEYOND okay with that), but I would like to start reading her books again. I don't think I've read either of these books, but I have read Sassy, Single, and Satisfied. I am not a "diva" but as I read her books I certainly felt more sassy and more diva-ish. They are really great books.