Random Thoughts

Do you notice a recurring theme here...everything I do is random lol. I've had a lot of thoughts go through my head lately, but nothing that can make a full post. When in doubt just throw them all on one post and ta da!! I first want to share something I think is really exciting. I've had a YouTube account for a while now, but never really did anything with it. Along the way I found people's channel that I really enjoy...isn't that the point? One of my favorites and the one I've been watching the longest is loraandlayton. I'm pretty sure most of the U.S. at least has heard of this family. She recently just gave birth to her 3rd child and had a home birth. I really enjoy her videos and love getting to know their family. After watching her videos for about a year now, I finally am starting to get the whole vlogging itch thing. I document things more with my still camera than my video camera, but I'm gonna try the whole having a video camera in my hands at all time thing lol.  I just put together my first video and it is our vacation video. I'm not ready to share it publicly just yet, but at some point I will. I am so pleased with how it turned out. It's not perfect by any means as I am still learning the software, but I'm hooked! I don't have interesting videos on my channel just yet...they are just what I upload from my phone and most are private right now, but I am going to start opening up more as I get more videos edited. If you are interested in subscribing my link is:http://www.youtube.com/user/suprblndy

Speaking of Lora and Layton, I have gotten baby fever bad!!! I've had baby fever on and off ever since Maddy was 10 months old. I get baby fever sometimes to the point that I just feel so sad and I just think that's crazy! Luckily I am able to focus my thoughts on Maddy and am beyond thankful to have her. We have so much fun together and she is truly my everything. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with her I felt very strongly about wanting to give birth at home in the tub. I wasn't smart enough to go research it to see if it was possible. I just assumed it wasn't and stuck with the whole hospital thing. After watching Lora's journey and watching a few others, I have come to the conclusion that if I am blessed enough to get married and have another child....I WILL be having a water birth at home. I feel a midwife has more of my beliefs as far as birthing goes than an OB-GYN. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my OB-GYN doctor, but I disagree with being induced and the hospitals approach of handing out pitocin like it's candy to get you out faster. Some people may think that's just plum crazy, but it's just how I feel. A lot of prayer went into my pregnancy and delivery day. I've talked about that in another post, so I won't go into again here. I did go into labor on my own and did not need pitocin. I truly feel had I been able to stay home that I would have delivered faster for one thing and two I would have been able to handle it. I did have the baby blues after I gave birth and I just feel that that would not have happened if I had a natural birth. I really wanted to have a natural birth. I also feel that having a hospital birth ruined my nursing experience. Lora got postpartum depression after her first two sons were born and had to get prescription medicines for it, but with her home birth she has not had any depression or blues. I just think having a natural birth in the comfort (ok so it's not comforting cause you are in intense pain but you get the idea) of your own home is better for mom and baby. I didn't realize until I got to the hospital that I had been in a zone and in control as I labored at home. I was able to move around freely and get in the tub as I wanted to. The contractions hurt so bad and were coming every 1-2 minutes, but I had it under control. Once I got to the hospital and they were so impatient with me and telling me I was inconveniencing them by moving around too much, I was unable to handle the pain of the contractions. I realized my concentration had been broken and there was no going back. It's amazing what our bodies do. This is kind of pointless for most of you, but oh well. I don't think women who prefer a hospital birth are crazy or not good...I do firmly believe people should do what THEY feel the most comfortable doing...that's what is best for them.

Manny gave me a scare last night. I noticed he wouldn't come lay with me in bed. I tried calling him but realized he was unable to get up. I got scared because it was his back end. I did everything I could think of to try to coax him up, including getting a treat and laying it down. He didn't even bother to come get it. He did sit up and kept looking behind him as if he were telling me his back end hurt. His eyes did look a little glazed over like they would if he were in a seizure. I thought maybe he was having a seizure and I just didn't notice. I got his treat and brought it to him and he took it. If he had been in a seizure he wouldn't have taken it. I also had good control of his body and with a seizure he doesn't. I couldn't bring myself to look where he was hurting for fear I'd see blood or that I would touch him and it would lead to him yelping over and over constantly. I honestly thought his kidneys were shutting down. I got down and hugged him and calmly petted him and sang Jesus Loves me one time then started praying. I felt a strong urge to check him out but just wasn't ready so I sang again and kept telling him I was here with him and that he would be ok and he just hugged me back. He seemed very thankful that I was there. Finally I got brave and checked him out only to find his hind leg had got caught up in his harness and he was just stuck. Oh I let out a huge sigh of relief and he went running around like a broncing bull. He curled up beside me and I just know by his body language he was happily telling me thank you. I didn't get to bed until 2:00 a.m. this morning so I am quite exhausted. Well, this concludes my post for now :)