Sporadic Memory

It seems like a whirlwind of events have occurred here lately. One that is still heavy on my mind is the passing of my old pastor and founder of my church...Brother Bob Stitts. I was on vacation when I saw on Facebook that he had passed on Wednesday. My heart broke for the family because even though they all know where he is and that they will see him again, as humans we still miss those that have passed. Several people started writing out their memories of him. What came to my mind is the night I decided to walk down the aisle to let the church know I had invited Jesus into my heart and I wanted to be baptized. That is a moment I will never ever forget. I don't remember the date, but I do know it was a Sunday night. I had been trying to work my nerve up to walk in front of everybody. My mom knew I was wanting to go forward and told me to just let her know when and she would be right there. I don't remember specifically how I told her but I found myself that Sunday night walking down the aisle. Brother Bob had the biggest smile on his face and knew exactly why I was coming forward. Without saying a word he ushered me over to meet a counselor. I was shocked he knew why I was coming forward, even though I recently just figured out how he knew lol. He had been trying for a few weeks to get me to come forward....I know because he would always find me and look right at me during the invitation and then of coarse it was one of those things I just knew. I told my mom I felt like he was waiting on me to come forward and she just said he probably discerns it. He was a great leader, pastor, role model, and encourager. I attended one of his bible study classes and he had a heart that was sure on fire for the Lord. I will miss him dearly. 

For my memories sake I want to write about a dream I had. I had a strange dream while I was on vacation and I didn't really think about the meaning until I saw Brother Bob's funeral service. During the service my pastor, his son, talked about when his dad was first in the hospital he told him God had spoke to him and put the number 96 on his heart. He was hoping it meant he would live until he was 96 years old, but it wasn't. It wasn't until he passed away on Wednesday that they understood what that number meant...From the time he was in the hospital until the time he passed away it was exactly 96 days. My dream...or the main jest of the dream focused on me being pregnant. I have had dreams of being pregnant before and it is never what it seems. In my dream I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I counted when my due date would be and found it would be in April, which meant I became pregnant in July. If you look up what giving birth means, it means new life is about to begin. I don't know if it really means anything but I wanted to document the dream in case it did. I have been praying for certain things in my life and I am thinking it might have to do with that. Time will tell...that's for sure :)

I want to write about our vacation, but I'm not quite ready for that yet. I can say we went to Panama City Beach, FL and we didn't do a whole whole lot of things away from the condo. We did have an amazing time though and really had a rough time coming back to reality. Maddy is still trying to recover as a matter of fact. She got so used to us sleeping together and not having to go to school and things like that. We have been on major fit mode since returning home. Manny on the other hand is so very thankful we are back. He hasn't left my side since he came home and he seemed so happy to spend the night in bed with me last night lol. I missed him just as much as he missed me!

I am starting a year long fitness goal. I can't think of the word I'm looking for lol. I started making time to work out about a month to leaving for our vacation. I did make progress but I tend to get sick every time I start a session. I think I need to get some vitamins to prevent this. I did make some progress, but I basically lost it all two weeks before we left. I've seen what a year can do to some people who really put forth the effort and I'm convinced and determined I can change my body in a year too. I do struggle with wanting results right then, but it doesn't work that way. I plan on using Jillian Michaels workout because getting to a gym is just impossible for me, plus I feel so intimidated. I prefer working out in my home. I would love to get an elliptical, but it's just not possible this year. 

I do not have any pictures for this post, so sorry for the boring post lol. I hope everybody has had a wonderful week so far :)

MIA

I think I am about ready to come back to blogging. I am still torn on whether or not to make this private. Not too much has happened since I last wrote. A few weeks ago I started Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 DVD and it has not let me down. I am on day two of the third week. They are tough workouts, but very doable. That does not mean that I have no problems doing all of the exercise or that I can do every single rep. I can complete the workout session though unlike her other DVD's. Week 2 was the hardest for me. I do not do well with planks and mountain climbers and those type of exercises. Week 3 burns your legs so bad, but it's been one of my favorite weeks. Again, I cannot do every rep. I doubt I will be beach body ready at all this summer, but I am going to continue working out and hopefully next year I won't have to hide in layers of clothes or cover ups :)

Maddy is doing really well. She has given me plenty of laughs lately. She has also been a total sweetheart. When we get home she will be playing and then say, "Oh, I forgot to give you a hug!" and will come over to me and give me the biggest hug and sometimes will even give me a kiss. Talk about making your bad day go away. The other day she decided to rip up an entire roll of toilet paper and put in the toilet. I was working and all of a sudden it hit me that she was real quiet and never came out of the bathroom. I asked her what she was doing and she yelled, "It's ok!!!" As I was getting up I asked her again and knew exactly what she doing lol. I walk in to the toilet full of paper. Luckily I caught her this time because she has done this two other times and then flushed the toilet and we had a major overflow in the bathroom. I think I may have learned my lesson not to let her wipe by herself lol. She has an eager to please spirit about her and does not like to mess up. She likes to be silly and laugh, but she is also very serious too. She is a tv addict and unfortunately I think I may have helped her form a movie addiction as well. I do monitor the amount of tv she watches and keep her attitude on watch. I continue to find her in odd sleeping positions.

In case you couldn't tell from this picture she likes to get up and bring things to her bed. I've never had a problem with this because it's usually just books that she is reading in bed and maybe some stuffed animals. I guess in the middle of getting up she just got so tired she fell asleep and fell over lol.

She had Spring pictures on April 3 at school. This is the first year they brought in the bunnies. I absolutely LOVE this picture. I will never forget picking her up that day because she came running to me saying, "Mommy mommy, I smiled for my picture and you weren't even there!!" This was a big deal to her and to me. She had been taking pictures without smiling. Everytime I asked her why she didn't smile she always said, "Cause mommy wasn't there." For this session I had talked about it all week long and asked if she would smile. She had been telling me no, but on picture day she finally said yes. She was so proud of herself and of coarse I was too...not that I wouldn't be proud of her even if she didn't smile.

I can't remember if I posted this picture already or not but here is another odd sleeping position lol.

She is a mother hen. She loves sitting on "the big couch" and she got her baby and was just a pattin her back. I love to see her being such a good mommy :)

This picture messed up...this is a picture of a picture. They took this for an art show her school had a while back. I was so upset because we couldn't go due to the day it was on. It was a fundraiser to help raise money for the school. These were available for purchase and I thought this was another good picture. I see this pictures and just can't believe how grown up she looks. She doesn't just look grown up, she acts it too.  Sure she has the normal toddler fits, but the things that come out of her mouth and her knowledge is just so mature for her age.

Believe it or not that is all the pictures I have taken since I last posted. I feel bad because I have not used my real camera in so long and I have failed at taking a lot of pictures this year. I normally have tons of pictures to go through for her yearly slideshow, but this year I will be doing good to complete a slideshow. Luckily it's not even mid year yet so I still have time. I'm in the market for a new video camera because mine is broke. I can't rely on my phone because I keep running out of storage. The ones on the market today are either way too expensive or just aren't worth it.

I have a very busy month ahead of me so I may be missing in action again until after May. I have a lot to do and very little time. I am very excited because I think I may be beginning to get a more clear picture of the direction God wants me to go. It will be a HUGE leap of faith but He always has a plan to take care of us. Right now I do think I am supposed to be still and know. I am doing that but I am starting to see that light shine and it's just very exciting to think about.

After posting this I have decided to leave my blog public for now. I'm done going back and forth...for now lol