Weekly Update

Here I am beginning my second week of working out. I successfully finished my first week and was able to go a little longer each day. The hardest day was the last day, Saturday. I was exhausted and I disappointed myself by not really giving it my all. I did manage to go 20 minutes, but I don't feel like I did my best. I thoroughly enjoyed my rest day. I began this week already tired, but I pushed through. The workout was much harder in my opinion, so I had to take more breaks than normal. I was excited that I was able to workout longer yesterday than I did when I first started. When I first started I was doing 13-15 minutes...last night I did 19 minutes. I know that sounds horrible, but these workouts are similar to Insanity...they aren't quite as intense as insanity, but they are not a normal workout either. I took my weekly picture and was instantly discouraged. I refuse to step on the scales right now because I know I will be upset at the number and that may cause me to quit. I feel like I almost looked skinnier before I started working out than I do now that I am working out. My goals this week are just to keep increasing my time. I realize since I am not doing a whole lot it will take longer to see any results. I am giving it four weeks before I start to get a bit concerned. I did expect to see at least a little change this week. I think my arms are already seeing some benefit...there are a lot of burpees and push ups. I will be posting weekly updates as I would like to have some accountability as well as be able to journal my thoughts along the way. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and time with family :)

Ready, Hiit, Change!!!

It's been four years since I was pregnant. Pre-pregnancy I had no problems whatsoever losing weight. I wouldn't say I had a high metabolism, but I could lose the weight I wanted by exercising (and not even hard exercise) and watching what I ate. After pregnancy is a whole other story. I have walked around for four years hating what my body had become. I have tried here and there to lose the weight, but it wouldn't budge. The most I've lost is 3 pounds, but I still look like I'm carrying around a spare tire...or two...on my belly and hip area. I'm tired of living in yoga pants and baggy T-shirts. I hate having to actually go somewhere because that means dressing in normal clothes that just hug my body and show off the true state my body is in. I can't tell you what lit my fire, but something sure did. A year or so ago I became a fan of bodyrock.tv. You take one look at the one of the hosts...Lisa Marie...and you will instantly feel sick and maybe even defeated because you know you will never look like that. I have tried their workouts before, but they were just too much for me and I could barely do 5 minutes. Since watching them they had a redesign/make-over and changed it to The Daily Hiit. Everyday on Facebook I see all these amazing results from people who took their 30 day challenge or some other challenge they have going. Then over on Youtube I have Shay Carl who started up Shaytober and it was about reaching your fitness goals in the month of October, whether it be losing weight, gaining weight, or doing 20 push-ups. I did the first week and then quit. I've tried Insanity...that workout is insane. I did the first week and quit because I wasn't seeing results and I felt defeated before I even began because again I did good to do 10 minutes of the warm-up. I've floundered around for the past four years. Since I have been keeping Maddy home and changing my work schedule to accommodate her schooling/needs, something has changed in me. I really can't explain what, but I like it. I have been getting up around the 5:30 a.m. mark, which feels like a miracle in itself because this girl does NOT get up that early lol. Starting on Monday I got an email from The Daily Hiit/Bodyrock wanting people to sign up for the fry fat fast 5 day challenge. They email you the workout for the day. The workout video was like 5-6 minutes long, but you do it for 3 rounds. They also showed you how you could modify it to suit your needs. I got motivated and told myself I would do this for 5 days. I ended up missing two days of it...Friday and Monday. I made up my Friday one on Saturday and did two workouts and was so completely sore I could barely walk! I hadn't been that sore in a long time so I knew it was working. I didn't want to just stop after that challenge. Prior to the 5 day challenge they had just completed a 30 day challenge. I decided to start that one. I am starting from the last day and working my way to the first day...no particular reason other than I am using my phone to do the workouts and the end videos show up first on YouTube so that's what I did. I am now on day 5 and have not missed any days. I know I will end up missing a day here and there, but this is a start. I am able to workout more and I set personal goals before I start. The first day I did it I did 15 minutes of a 44 minute workout. The next day I did 16 minutes. Last night I wanted to do 17 minutes. When it got to 13 minutes I was getting to the point of wanting to stop. I couldn't let myself stop before 15 minutes at least. I decided to start praying and asking Jesus to help me do the workout...not so I can look good for the world, but so my body...His temple...could be healthy. Let me tell ya...I experienced something I never have before and I pushed through until 21:52. I got goosebumps as I was praying and felt like something I never had before. That truly motivated me and I hope I will start seeing some results soon. I am taking pictures along the way for my comparison...there has been little to no change, but I know I won't see change until at least day 10. If I do this for a year and still see no change whatsoever then maybe I will give up lol. There have been two days in particular that I just did not want to workout because I was so tired....last night was one of those days, but the worst was Wednesday. I was laying in bed at 9 p.m. and told myself I better get up and get my workout done because if I don't I won't and I'm afraid if I miss a day right now it may kill the motivation have right now. At 9:50 p.m. I pulled myself out of bed. For the first time I felt my endorphin's kick in and I was able to get a good workout in. I feel so proud of what I've been doing this week and I hope and pray that I don't quit. It seems like once I share what I'm doing I quit soon after...I'm weird lol. 

I know diet is a key part to getting the body you want. Right now I am not worried about my diet. I don't eat horribly. I don't eat the best either. Right now my goal is to just workout 6 days a week. I was going to do the full 7 days, but I really want to observe the Sabbath on the seventh day. I want to complete this 30 day challenge, but it will be a bit longer for me. If I complete this challenge, then I will start working on my diet. Next year I am investing in me an Omega juicer. I will be doing a lot of juice cleanses and that will help my diet situation. I pray that this time next year I will have a different body that I can enjoy a little more. I have always had issues with my body, but I want to wear jeans and sweaters without feeling like a huge cow from this spare tire I've been carrying around. I want to be able to spring up off the floor without having to turn to the side and use both hands to push me up because my stomach is hanging in the way and I"m too weak to use my legs like I used too. I know I will never get my pre-pregnant body back because I was roughly 20 pounds underweight then. I know my metabolism is shot now from my prepregnant days. I know I will probably never fit back into my pre-pregnant clothes like I used too, but I hope to come close. I hope this fire I have to really work on myself doesn't go away. I hope to one day feel ok enough to get back into a bikini, even though I probably will never wear one again. Since having Maddy I have felt even more modest than I did before her and I was a modest person lol. 

I will not be turning this blog into a "fitness/health" blog. This blog has always been a place for me to come to talk about my life and the ups and downs it brings. It's been a therapy for my bad days. It's a tool to record the memories I have. It's my journal. I will talk about what I go through and hopefully share some pictures of my progress, but it will never be strictly a health blog. 

This is an example trailer. They used to basically look like a porn site. The work out is extremely difficult, but the camera would focus in on angles that were just yuck! With their new design they have stopped all that nonsense and truly seem to focus on the workout and not getting an angle that was inappropriate. They still use thumbnails that I disagree with, but I can overlook that and just get to the workout. I'm pretty excited to see what changes I can make, but there is no way I can do it on my own...I have Jesus with me and He gives me the strength I need to push on when I want to quit. 

Maddy Turns 4!

I hate almost two months have past since Maddy's 4th birthday party, and I am just now getting this up. This year we had Maddy's party on Sunday September 22. We rented our church's indoor playground called Playside from 2-4. Her theme this year was Dora. I knew I would not be able to decorate at her party like I would want to...actually how SHE would want me to lol, so I put up some decorations at home while she slept. I had to juggle a few close calls to her waking up, but I managed to get them hung all around her room. 

 I couldn't capture her room the way it looked in person, but you can get the idea with these pictures. She was so surprised when she woke up. We still have these hanging up today. We will probably leave them up for a really long time :)

Since we were going to be doing a lot of playing and running around I didn't want to get her a dress or an outfit that was dressier, so I ordered her shirt from Embroidered Shirts by Monica. I ordered it very early on September 11 and went with standard shipping. My thought process was when you order it asks you when you need it by and I said I needed it by Saturday September 21. I felt that was plenty of time to get the shirt done and shipped. For a $10 fee you can rush your order and it will be done within 24 hours. I did not want to pay the fee and again felt like it fell within her 7-10 days turnaround time. After ordering I began to check back with a shipping update. The week it shipped it told me it would not be here until Monday September 23. I was SO upset and mad that Maddy would not have her special shirt in time for her party. Yes, she would have it on her birthday, but it just wasn't what I wanted for her lol. After a day of being upset I moved past it and began frantically searching for a Dora outfit. Dora clothes are not as common as they used to be years ago. We checked Kohls and Target and they had nothing. I browsed around online and found Wal-Mart carried some. The day before her party we went and sure enough they did. Once we got home something told me to check the mail and to my wonderful suprise...her shirt had arrived. I was BEYOND ecstatic to see that package lol. I will probably use Embroidered Shirts by Monica for all my custom shirts. Her prices were lower than other stores/boutiques and the fact that she tries to get your package to you when you need it without having to pay a fee, unless you need it right away. Just to clarify I am not being paid to write this, just sharing my personal experience :)

 This is the outfit we found at Wal-Mart...it was just not what I wanted her to wear for her party

This is the shirt we ordered. I was very pleased with it. The day of her party I believe it was supposed to be in the low 70's weather wise. I figured she would get hot in pants, so I went ahead and put her in shorts.

We had church the morning of her party. After church her Pops took her along with my nieces back to his house to feed them and let them play while me and her Nana got the place set up. Maddy wanted cupcakes for her party, but I also wanted a cake so I asked my mom if she would do both. For the cupcakes I just ordered ring toppers of Dora. They weren't exactly what I wanted, but it was all I could find. I bought a cupcake stand to put the cupcakes in.

 Without realizing what she did, my mom chose pink and brown for the colors of the cupcakes...those were Maddy's nursery colors :)

 She was a bit shy as everybody sang happy birthday to her...

 I have no idea what I was doing here, but it definitely looks like I was having fun...and maybe chasing somebody lol

We let Maddy open her presents first, then sang happy birthday, then let the kids run wild while everybody else ate. It was a lot of fun and Maddy seemed to really enjoy herself. After we left she asked me how many more days until her next birthday. Looks like she is mommy's girl and loves to celebrate her birthday :)

The First Day of a New Beginning

The day has finally come...the day I've been waiting for since July. Today marks our first day of homeschool :) The worries I had last week were definitely from the devil! Today has been so wonderful for both me and Maddy! It is 2:25 p.m. right now and we still have a good bit of school left to go, but that's how it will be. She is napping...or, supposed to be napping right now. She is still awake, but hopefully she will fall asleep soon. This morning I did not make my 4 a.m. wake up time. I forgot that my clocks are still on the old time, so when I set my alarm for 4 I really set it for 3 am. When I realized it was really 3 am I fell asleep to only wake back up at 5:22 am. I am thankful I started getting up for work early last week because this week I was used to it. I have been a little anxious over how today was going to go, so that helped get me up as well. Maddy slept until 8:00 a.m. She started to ask if she could stay home, but that question turned into a statement that said, "I get to stay home today!" We did our usual morning routine, except I worked while she got herself dressed. We had tv time for about an hour and a half. After tv time I turned on my Pandora Christmas station and played music while she played. I had a few centers set out, but it was really just putting a few toys in spaces. She's been worried about not having centers, so I will be working hot and heavy on creating centers here at home. I need to get some trays and items for a sensory station and a water station and then some more blocks and puzzles. I also realized today that I had no incentives for when she does a great job. At school she got stickers for listening. She has not pitched one fit today and without me telling her she knew she had to clean up her "center" just like she did at school. I went into my scrapbooking box and found a sticker for her. She was pretty excited to get that sticker.

Here is her city she made. She was so proud of it. 

I do plan to make a quick wal-mart run to pick up some things we need right now..such as paint and stickers. At 10:30 I had a meeting and whenever I have a meeting I send her to her room with her computer and games...that sounds bad, but it's not a punishment by any means. She knew after my meeting was over we would be going outside to play. My meeting was pretty quick. I clocked out for lunch and then I fixed her hair and off we went!

I can already tell I will get SO much more time with her. I think she was in disbelief that mommy was working but could still go outside and play with her. She only wanted to swing while we were outside and then after about 30 minutes she wanted to go inside to finish playing.

After playing a few more minutes it was time for lunch and for me to go back to work. We had chicken noodle soup that I made last night. I let her watch a little more tv before turning it back off. I reminded her she had play dough that she hadn't played with. That sparked her interest.

She kept saying she was going to make a butterfly, but she also had gum in her mouth that she kept focusing on on top of the fact that she was getting sleepy. She did real good with gum. I feel more comfortable letting her have it now because she just sat there and chewed up a storm on it. I had to cut her play-dough time short because we were cutting into our "afternoon meeting" time. For our afternoon meeting we talked about what day it was, she put up the number for today, and we talked about what the weather was like today. After doing the calandar stuff I introduced our theme of the week...Thanksgiving and Turkeys and the letter Tt. I read her a book called "What is Thanksgiving?" It talks about how Thanksgiving is a day that we give thanks to God for His love. She had a hard time paying attention because she was so tired, so I may need to just move all learning until after nap time. I will be done with work at 4:19 p.m. today, and that's working 2 hours OT. We have a total of 4 hours OT to work for the week so I will work another 2 hours over tomorrow to be done with it, then I will be done with work around 2 p.m. unless I can get up at 4.

This is the book we read, but the picture cut off the What is part. We have the same kind of book for Christmas and Easter. 

Maddy ended up taking a pretty long nap. I ended up waking her up at 5:10 p.m. because I needed to get some art supplies at the store. She was in a great mood when she woke up. We got home around 7 p.m. from the store and we read the "What is Thanksgiving" book again and then discussed how Thanksgiving and turkey start with the letter Tt. We are going to make an alphabet book by the time we are done, so we worked on our Tt page. I found the template at ABCjesuslovesme.com. Ideally we would have decorated it with things that start with Tt, but I am already going way over budget just trying to get started so we used some of our new supplies. She really enjoyed this activity. I didn't know how much fun it would be for her even though she did this at daycare, but she really enjoyed picking out her decorations and gluing them on her Tt. 

She wanted to do more art...I wanted to do more art, but by this time it was close to 8:00 p.m. and I was getting sleepy. I still have to clean :( I decided instead of starting a new art project we would work on writing. It may be a little early to start this for her, but  I figured since she knew how to make straight lines we would work on making Tt. She did VERY well for her first time!

She struggled with the little t, so she only wanted to try it once. She needs bigger lines to work with, but I was still proud of what she could do. She found all the t's on the bottom on her own.

There have been several times throughout the day that she would tell me she loved me on her own and out of nowhere. She used to tell me she loved me, but this was different. She was sincerely happy. At the end of the day she asked if I would teach her some more things when she woke up...melted my heart. I thought the hardest part, aside from teaching her, would be waking up. That is definitely a struggle for me, but today I found the hardest part is wanting to give her a full 8 hours of fun things throughout the day, instead of just a few hours. I want to give her more of me. I want to be able to do several art projects throughout the day. That's the thing with us humans is no matter what we're given we always want more. I can tell you me and Maddy have prayed for a year that God would give us more time together. As we prayed I really had in mind that I would be able to be a full time stay-at-home mom. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God called me to pull Maddy out of daycare and homeschool her. I have been on cloud nine today and have thought all day about this and I really think God needed me to go through everything I have with daycare and me longing for her to be with more, so that when this day came I could fully appreciate it. I also know that God must be up to something good with this homeschool thing for the devil to try to mess with me over it. I can tell that this will not only be a fantastic bonding moment for us, but it will also allow us to really study the bible together as a family and give us prayer time together.

The only thing I have to really figure out now is when to clean. I used to spend my lunch time cleaning up around the house, so it was pretty easy to stay on top of. I now take my lunch time to give Maddy some time outside. I guess I will have to do some before bed and then finish the rest up in the morning. I know I am completely exhausted, but it's something I wouldn't trade for the world!! I hope you all had a great weekend and a great first day back to work :)