12-7-12

I came home from church Wednesday night and put Maddy to bed. Soon after I started working I heard Manny yelping. It was just a little, so I ignored it thinking he just heard us. He then began yelping a lot so I went to go check on him. I found he was standing in nothing but pee in his kennel. I immediately let him out. I went back to work because I'm under a lot of pressure to get some things done on top of my production and time. Manny would periodically yelp and run around and would just pee in the house constantly, without trying to tell me he had to go. I took him out some and he would just go a little and then just stand there, so I assumed he had a urinary tract infection. I had planned on taking him to the vet on Thursday, but I wasn't meeting my work deadline so I decided to wait to take him. I almost chose to wait until Saturday to take him, but I am so thankful I didn't now. His vet had one opening on Friday and that was at 3:00 p.m. It was really bad timing because I was supposed to be working a 13 hour shift and I had visited with my oldest niece that morning because she had a tonsillectomy on Tuesday. I got to the vet and felt horrible telling them what all had been going on with Manny and that it all started last year. His symptoms did improve last year, which is why I never took him. His symptoms included:
-frequent urination
-loss of appetite
-weight loss
-itching all over
-consumed a lot of water
-yelping
-seizures
I was sure the vet would say he had a urinary tract infection, diabetes, and maybe worms. The vet said with his symptoms he was concerned and three things came to mind:diabetes, adrenal gland problem, or kidney failure. I knew it couldn't be the adrenal gland issue because they would gain weight. He then proceeded to tell me that he had looked at his urinalysis and there was no sugar in his urine so it wasn't diabetes. He said his urine levels were the same as his blood. I wasn't really sure what that meant...he then said two words that I immediately knew it was bad. He proceeded to tell me he was in kidney failure. I was in complete shock as to what I was hearing and I wanted to blurt out: so he's gonna die??? I just lost it. He said there's no way to tell just how much his kidney's had failed, but with his numbers he was in at least 75% He said it could be more, but it waasn't 99% because he would be a lot sicker. I asked what could be done and he said unfortunately they don't do transplant in dogs, so nothing. I sat there crying as he went on with his speech. His BUN (blood urea nitrogen) was at 124...normal for dogs is anywhere from 6-24 and his creatinine was 3.8 and normal is .05-1.6. He also is anemic. After thinking there was absolutely nothing that could be done for Manny he came back in the room and said there were a few options. Hospitalize him and get fluids running through him to see if it lowers his levels. If it did then more than likely medication would help keep them down or I could just take him home and try to the medicine and put him on a kidney diet. Of coarse I wanted to do what was best for Manny, so I hospitalized him. That was such a hard day on me. I had it in my head that he was just going to die and I was no where near ready for that to happen. He's only 5 years old and is just my best friend. He is the man of the house and keeps me company. I am extremely close to him! When I left the vets I really did start to feel like Job. I'm in big trouble at work...well..I will be come to tomorrow and now I'm losing my dog. I did kind of think about Job in my head as I drove and remembered how the Lord allowed bad to happen to Him because he knew no matter what Job would still be faithful to Him. I didn't really have much strength to do anything, but I did manage to find things to be thankful about. I feel like maybe the Lord allowed something bad to happen to Manny and protected Maddy. Once I got home I just fell to my knees and let out everything I had been holding in. I felt numb and weak and was not sure how I would make it through the rest of that day. I didn't really realize how much I depended on Manny being here until Friday night. I could not sleep in my room at all. Manny wasn't eagerly ready to go to bed and if I laid in bed he would not curl up as close to me as he could to where he was touching me. I decided to sleep on the couch. Once I laid down and tried to sleep I realized I just couldn't. I tried sleeping on Maddy's couch but that didn't work. I turned the tv back on thinking maybe I would drift to sleep, but I couldn't even watch tv. I just paced around the house. I stared at his stocking and cried. I went to the Christmas tree and thought about how he wouldn't be here for our first Christmas in our home and cried. Out of habit I tried giving him food I had found on the floor or that Maddy didn't eat, but he wasn't there and I cried. If I made a loud noise I immediately tried to pet him to let him know it was ok, it was just me but he wasn't there. I literally did not sleep Friday night. I had to work for an hour on Saturday so I got up at 6:30 and started working. Saturday was so hard for me. I'd be ok for one minute and then losing it the next. Once Maddy got up I had to suck it up and be ok because I do not like to cry in front of her. We went up to my mom's pretty early. My youngest niece was there and I knew it would be better for Maddy. I was just anxiously waiting for noon because I was supposed to call and check on him to see how he was doing. Noon finally came. I did hear some really good news. His numbers were coming down. His BUN was at 81 and his creatinine was at 2.4 I think. The vet asked if he could stay another day since the goal is to get them down to normal or as close to normal as possible. I was really sad he wouldn't be coming home but also SO thankful they were at least coming down. She was positive because it hadn't even been a full 24 hours. I did expect to call today and hear they were normal, but they were not and the vet on call was NOT very helpful. He didn't tell me his numbers and was pushing me to take him home since it was becoming quite pricey. He didn't even bother to say bye, he just hung up. If you are in the Chattanooga area DO NOT let Dr. Ashley at Animal Clinic East work with your pet. I have had to use him a couple other times and both times I really regretted it. His levels today were 47 for BUN and 1.9 for creatinine. His doctor will be in around 7 a.m. tomorrow and will rerun his labs and I'm quite sure he will get to come home tomorrow. Not a lot of people understand just how much Manny means to me, but to describe how I've felt this weekend, it's no different than losing a family member unexpectedly. I have hope right now that he will live longer because his numbers did come down, which means there is a higher chance of the medicine maintaining his numbers. He will have  to go on a kidney diet and drink a lot of water and go to the bathroom a lot. I will do whatever it takes to keep him healthy. It's going to be hard not to give him left over scraps, but the alternative is just not an option. We were able to go see him on Saturday and that just made my day. I really think it made his too. My mom, Maddy, my youngest niece, and me loaded up and went to see him. He had the cone of shame on as I call it. They said he kept trying to chew his bandage to his IV line, but I also think it is to keep him from licking. Oh yeah...his itchy, smelly skin problem is from the kidney disease...he has a yeast infection of the skin so I will need to purchase a special shampoo and bathe him frequently.

The last picture he was right under my chair/desk at work. Within the past month or so he started snuggling under there. I really should have noticed he was getting worse, but I just didn't. I do think I have learned that work is important, but I can't let it rule my life and not put my family first. I'm not a workaholic by any means, but I try my best to stay out of trouble but if it means putting my family last, then I just can't do that. I am really dreading going into work tomorrow...but it's a little easier knowing that I might get to bring my buddy home. Once he is home I will have to take him back to the vet within a week to have his levels rechecked to make sure the medicine is doing it's job. I am very thankful for my mom for being here for me through all of this. She has a special connection with Manny in ways no one would believe. Maddy has also been so sweet to me. I'm praying hard Manny gets to come home tomorrow and that the medicine will keep his numbers down.

I will kind of be missing in action for the rest of the year. I have a lot going on and have done a horrible job at posting this year. This has not been my year and I'm ready to kick it goodbye lol. I will definitely be posting about Christmas. I'm not sure when I will be posting again, so just in case...Merry Christmas everybody!!!