Wednesday Randoms

I've written more than I thought I would prior to leaving for vacation. This week has been one more crazy week. I feel like I have a black cloud over mine and Maddy's head. Maddy went back to school today (if I had a job that actually understood what it was like to have a sick child, I would have kept her out all week), and she seemed to have had a good day. I worried about her all night last night (I think she knew the minute I was starting to fall asleep because just when I fell asleep she would wake up crying....I know that's not true...her poor mouth was hurting) and all day today. I worried about her teachers not being patient with her if she started hurting...I worried about if she could eat anything for lunch (luckily they had mashed potatoes, which she can eat)...I just worried about her hurting and me not being able to be there to hold her hand or hug her or let her know I'm there. I felt like it was her very first day at daycare. I was supposed to have a meeting first thing this morning, so my mom took her for me. If I had to take her I just know I would have bawled my eyes out because I really did not want her to have to go. Throughout this whole ordeal I have learned something about Maddy that I really have no idea where it even came from. The first incident happened on Monday. Me and my mom were in the kitchen and Maddy had wandered off into the living room. Out of no where she just screams with everything within her. She was playing with the flashlight (I used it to look in her mouth and she loves playing with it). We went running to her and the split second I saw it looked like she was trying to free her hand from the flashlight cord. I thought it must have gotten stuck and it scared her. I scooped her up and told my mom to help take the flashlight. I saw my mom was able to just take the light so I began to panic some over what was wrong. I asked Maddy what happened and she said a fly. I thought she was just saying something and was really scared of the light or something else I couldn't figure out. The look on her face and the way she was shaking you would have thought she saw a ghost or something that would just really shake you up. Tuesday came around and if a fly got near her she would start to cry and run. I realized at that point she is absolutely petrified of flies. When I put her to bed tonight I went back to finish my work and next thing I know my mom is yelling at me (I was watching a movie with earbuds in my ear) saying Maddy was screaming. When I took my earbuds out sure enough Maddy was screaming with everything within her. I knew it was a fly because I now know that scream. I asked her what happened and of coarse she said a fly. I would like to know where this fear of flies came from because we've had flies in the house before and she thought they were funny because we were always chasing them with a fly swatter. After the fly incident she would not let me leave her room unless I was getting the fly swatter. Needless to say both me AND Maddy are definitely going to need a vacation after the week we have had. So far the only real chance of rain in Florida is Friday and that is our last day there...we head back Saturday morning.

I still don't have an official date as to when I can move into my new house, but I do have a phone installation date of June 21. I will be out of town, but my mom was kind enough to offer to be there while they get my phone set up. I just need my internet and then I will be moving in. I really wish I could doc my work somehow because it is ridiculous that I have been paying rent since April 21 and they have YET to move me. If it took me that long to do my job I would be jobless.

Speaking of jobs, I can't/won't go into details yet but I have a great job opportunity coming up. If I can get involved it would allow me to take the time I need off when Maddy is sick. It would give me my evenings back and I would not have to work till 10 p.m. every night. It would take a lot of stress off me...it already has really because being a single mom I have no choice but to keep my job or Maddy isn't taken care of. My job is practically impossible to keep for a lengthy amount of time (for me anyways) and I stress day in and out over what if I lose my job. I now know what I can do if I were to lose my job and that relieves me so much. I'm going to pray about it, but my heart and mind are already geared towards going for it.

Maddy helped wash dishes on Monday.  She enjoyed playing with the bubbles mainly. I can't wait to cook/bake with her...especially during Christmas.

Hope you all have a great rest of the week...hang in there if you are having a rough week :)