Believe

Ok I'm really not always an emotional mess lol. I did something today that I knew I should never have done today due to the consequences. I watched the movie Free Willy. I can remember watching that movie in the theater. I was just a kid and I was fighting with everything within me to not cry. I was able to keep from sobbing, but tears just streamed down my face and of coarse my sister pointed and laughed at me...I was definitely embarrassed, but that movie really touched me. I actually LOVE animals...not all of them...but most lol. Free Willy made me curious about killer whales and I ended up doing a little research on them and instantly knew I wanted to be an activist for them. That movie made me change my mind on what I wanted my career in life to be. The first thing I wanted to be was a teacher, but after Free Willy I wanted to be a marine biologist. Somewhere along the way I grew up and I ended up wanting to be a dietitian. After watching Free Willy today I became curious as to how they made the movie because I noticed this time around there is a scene where Jesse is riding Willy for the first time in the pool and he is soaked one minute then the next minute he is completely dry but still riding Willy. Youtube always has the answers so I went on a hunt. On this hunt I came across a video called Behind the Scenes of Believe. I loved the video and how much those trainers really seem to care about the animals and it just made me want to go to Seaworld. I have had the privilege of going there once in my life and it was so much fun. I don't remember a whole lot about it, but the one thing I do remember is the Shamu show and getting soaked and then hearing the workers yell, "ICCCCCE-cream...GET YOUR SHAMU IIIIIIIce-cream" I found the video I shared in this post...well, it was a different one but the tricks in this one are better lol...and I just felt inspired to live my dreams. I seriously just sat in my chair and cried like a baby...it was almost like I was having a worship experience. As I watched the show I kept thinking about how amazing it is the God created these animals and how we now have the opportunity to work with these animals. I don't like that these whales and other animals are held in captivity just so us humans can see and enjoy and learn about them, but you have to admit that seeing a Shamu show is just amazing. I thought about what it would be like to share that experience with Maddy for the first time and knowing I have two Florida trips coming up, thought about taking her down there this year if for nothing else but to see Shamu. That idea kinda left when I found out that tickets to seaworld are $80 for adults and $67 for kids. I thought that was kinda ridiculous because for about $130-$150 I can go swim with a dolphin and eat lunch lol. I can't say I haven't completely ruled out the idea, but I am more than likely going to save Seaworld for next year. Anyways, I have dreams...everybody has dreams. The problem is we give up on what we want to achieve. We're told that our dream is impossible and give in to that kind of thinking. I have dreams that are probably unrealistic and then I have dreams that are very realistic/achievable if I could just come in contact with the right person. It's made me think about Maddy and the dreams she will have one day. I want to be that mom that encourages her to go after her dreams no matter how big or small. I want to be that mom that figures out a way to help her achieve her dreams. I also recently watched the documentary Being Elmo and Kevin's mom didn't tell him his dream was silly or not achievable, she encouraged him and let him be who he was. She couldn't get him in touch with the right people or give him lots of money to go see the people he needed, but she did everything she could even if that was just to keep him encouraged and let him do his thing. The one dream I have right now that is very achievable is owning and operating my own daycare and being a stay at home mom. I know those kind of contradict each other, but they actually go together. I want the experience of being involved in daycare world and I want to get it to where I can fully trust my staff so I can come and go as needed. Even as a stay at home mom I would want Maddy to go to daycare for the socializing aspect and the learning aspect. The good thing is if I had my own daycare I would know for sure that she is 100% taken care of and being treated ok. Over time I have slowly started giving up on this dream. I don't know how to begin this process because I need roughly $500,000 to get up and running and that includes the building...I think lol. I've looked into franchise's but you have to have the collateral or something just on the in case and I'm not rich by any means. I feel inspired to start trying again after watching this video and I know this post probably makes no sense to you all because this is just something that touched me and what touches me may not touch you and that's ok. Bottom line is if you have something you want to achieve...no matter how big or small...you can do it. I believe in praying about it and understanding that just because you want it doesn't mean it's what God wants, but I also believe in trying until God says no more. I was so excited about Seaworld that I showed Maddy the video on my computer and she actually watched all but the last two minutes, which for her is amazing. Seeing how interested she was here at home, I know seeing it in real life will just be amazing for her...and yes this mommy WILL cry lol. She kept saying, "That look fuu-uun." She would ask what happened when the trainers would dive in the water or the whale threw them up. Then she said she wanted to pet a whale at home lol. Seaworld and Disneyworld are truly magical places that just melt your heart and being able to share that with my daughter...words can't even describe the emotions I feel haha. All you have to do is...BELIEVE