Laughing Randomness

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This isn't an "I'm a huge Whitney Houston" post. Back in the day...as in 1990-ish...I did enjoy a lot of her music. I didn't own every tape...yes...TAPE but did have one or two. This week has kinda been a bummer. Every week seems to be stressful due to work, but I'm finding with each passing week that I'm starting to burn out. I can only give so much of myself before I say enough is enough. I really enjoy spending time with Maddy and Saturday is really my only day to do so. I look forward to picking Maddy up in the afternoons. I really enjoy getting to break free from work and have a little fun. On my way to get Maddy Tuesday, this song came on my ipod....I Wanna Dance With Somebody. I think I stay so stressed that I enjoy things a lot more than maybe a normal person would lol. This song just made me feel so happy for some reason. I sang my heart out in the car, even though I can't sing worth a flip, and I was just dancing away...safely that is. I got so into it that I envisioned me being in the music video and my voice sounding like Whitney's. This song helped put a lil pep back in my step and it was just a breath of fresh air. I know not everybody is like me nor does everybody enjoy all the kinds of music I do, but just want to say if you ever feel so weighed down in life...of coarse you should pray and give it to God, but why not turn on some tunes for a minute and just dance/sing it out....it has to release happy endorphin's some how lol.

I did use the word random in the title for a reason...this is why...I don't have one specific topic to talk about. Tonight was bath night for Maddy. When I picked her up she was in a good mood. I had chocolate and juice for her as a snack on the way home and all was good. Oh yeah...can't forget we listened to Bob as well. We get home and start to have a meltdown over eating dinner, but she decides if she's gotta do it that SHE is going to find what she wants. In her words, "MADDY HAVE TO DO IT!!!!" yes, she screams...literally. For the record I do not give her what she wants when she does that. I calmly talk to her until she hears me talking and tell her what she needs to do to get what she is requesting. Anyways, she gets over it all and eats dinner. I buy the single cups of velveeta shells and cheese and she eats a whole one and easily asks for more after that one...my child can eat like nobody's business lol. She doesn't like bath nights most of the time and I think it's because she knows when she gets done with the bath it's usually bedtime. I finally convince her to take a bath. It went well up until time to bathe her. I tell her it's time to get bubbles on her...she knows what that is...and it puts her into fit mode. She does her screaming thing and I realize she's mad cause she wants to do it herself. I always tell her mommy does it first then it's Maddy's turn. I would have done that tonight had she not been screaming and crying and throwing things all because she wanted to do it. I tell her she needs to be nice and not throw things and the whole nine yards, but she is just so worked up nothing was working...the more I tried to talk her down from her fit the madder she got. I finally just let her scream it out for a few seconds and then I did the unthinkable. I did something that I get on to everybody else for doing if they do it in front of me. I really have no idea why I reacted this way or why I did it at all....I found myself laughing hysterically. I tried my best to stop but it was one of those kinds of laughing that once you started you couldn't stop...kinda like a slap happy laugh where any and everything is funny...yeah...I did that in the middle of my child's fit. Do you know that I felt horrible for reacting that way? Here Maddy is so upset that she is acting out in a screaming/throwing rage and I'm laughing. I did get myself under control and no I didn't laugh for a long time...just a few seconds but it felt like forever in my mind. First of all I don't like laughing when she is pitching a fit because it gives her a reaction...that's what she is after...the reaction...the attention...and that is now how you get mommy's or anybody else's attention. Second...these are her feelings. I don't think feelings should be laughed at. Maddy really is a very very sensitive child. If she thinks she disappointed you in any way she instantly gets her mad look on her face and starts to pout because she disappointed. I don't want her to think that I don't care about her feelings...because I do. She fought me all the way until she was completely dressed for bed. No, I didn't laugh the entire time...just once or twice while she was in the bath. She wanted me to hold her and I just quietly went to the kitchen to fix her bottle and asked if she wanted to give my step dad hugs and kisses. She opted not to and just said night instead. We got to her room and she just snuggled with me for the longest time. I had to tell her to go to her bed but I decided I would carry her to bed. I love how sweet she is and how loving she is. She'll put my head on her head and she'll just rub my face or she'll want me to lay my head on top of her and she'll just hug me so tight and then she'll stop long enough to pat my back then she'll go back to hugging. I'm so thankful tomorrow is Friday and I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with Maddy. Laughter really is the best medicine, but in the right circumstances/situations lol. Laughing during a temper tantrum is not really the best time but just goes to show if ya don't deal with your stress it will come out sooner or later and it usually happens in the worst times lol. Lesson learned...kinda