Tests

There is so much I just want to blurt out, but at the same time I feel as if I am supposed to keep quiet about it still. If you know anything about me you know I just want to tell all pretty much. I will say there is nothing new with my life. It's still the same ol same ol...it's what God is doing IN my life...or in me rather. I wish I had written down the exact date...I may have by blogging about the subject, but I definitely know God is fixing me up. I truly feel God is preparing me, but before I can finish this "mission" I have to pass some tests. I could be completely wrong with what I am feeling but I really don't think I am. I mean what woman is going to say she's wrong right? lol. Seriously though I'm 99% sure I'm not wrong and I must say I'm a little excited. The one difference in this mission is that I haven't let it consumed my thoughts. I have stayed focused on God, Maddy, and work and I am proud of myself for doing so. I do think this whole test phase will take some time but I'm ok with that. I have learned a little more about myself and about what I want and I just feel so peaceful about everything. In the past I didn't always listen to God's direction/leading but dad gum it I'm going to do my best from here on out. I have definitely developed a stronger relationship with the Lord over these past two years and I really like where I am compared to where I've been. Relationships are continually growing so I can't even think about what things might be like two years from now. Life is not easy at all. In order for us to grow we have to go through some hard times. We are always being tested for one thing or another. If I think about life and how it is I seriously get overwhelmed and think I just want off this ride. It's not something I can just get off of and as hard as it may be sometimes I'm so thankful that I can see where the Lord has taught me this or that. I'm absolutely exhausted so I suppose I will end here :)