I Wish

I wish a lot of things to be honest, but what I am thinking about tonight is I wish the Lord would tell me up front whether people are entering my life for a season, or if they'd be staying around. I seem to have a consistent shift of people coming and going from my life. It seems like once I become attached to someone whether it be attached as friends or romantically, they leave. Every best friend I make ends up leaving my life or growing apart from me. My best friend in elementary school ended up moving to a different state the year we entered high school. Do you know how hard it is to have to face your first day of high school without your best friend? Then the next best friend (not that my first best friend has been replaced because she is still one of my best friends) I met while working at CSAS. I worked there for 3.5 years and I really enjoyed my friend's friendship. She ended up meeting a guy and they got married and she started not making time for me. Once I quit the school we very rarely speak and I hate that because we had so much in common. I did forget a best friend...it was my preschool best friend. I think we grew apart because once we started kindergarten we didn't see each other very often and we had new friends in our classroom. My last best friend was another real hard one on me. We met in training class and I started hanging out with "the group", maybe I should say outcasts of that class lol but anyways we got to know each other pretty good and talked all the time. Out of everybody in our group we seemed to have the most in common. He ended up saying he couldn't be my friend anymore and that was that. That was another hard one on me because I thought we could be life long friends and for once I would have a really good friend to hang out with that didn't mind Maddy. These aren't the only people that have left my life, but these are the best friends who have left whether it be their choice or someone elses'. As people enter my life I find myself constantly wondering why it is they have come into my life. I'd at least like to know up front whether it's safe to get attached to the person or not lol...is that really too much to ask for? I will just keep my eyes on the Lord and if I end up attached to someone that is only here for a season, then the worst thing that happens is I end up feeling really sad for a little bit. These are my thoughts tonight...