Christmas Rush

It's so hard to believe that Christmas is in just a few days. I've waited since Halloween for this time to finally get here and now that it is I'm not ready for it to end. This Christmas has not been at all what I wanted it to be. It's primarily my own fault for letting situations beyond my control affect my mood and life to the point that nothing becomes enjoyable. I let my emotions rule me and this is something I really want to change. I had so many plans of what me and Maddy were going to do during the Christmas season. Out of everything I had planned...we only did 1 of those things and that certainly didn't go like I had planned. I feel as if the devil has just come and ruined everything good about Christmas this year and it's a little disappointing...even more disappointing that I allowed it. I still have high hopes of how I want Christmas morning to go, but I'm learning to not have any expectations that way you aren't as disappointed. This year for Christmas, my sister and her 2 girls will be spending the night Christmas Eve night so come Christmas morning we will have 3 girls ready to see what Santa brought them. I'm so excited for Maddy's Christmas this year...i think i'm really excited because she's at the age where she can enjoy things. I find myself still saying oh Maddy needs that and oh she would love that, but I need to be a good steward with my money as well as not spoil her just yet lol. Tomorrow we will be finishing up our Christmas shopping and then once she goes to bed tomorrow night I will be cleaning my room up like a mad dog cause my 2 nieces are probably going to be sleeping in my room and it's just a huge mess right now. I should be cleaning it right now, but it's an overwhelming task and I just don't even know where to put anything. I am so thankful to have a mom who is willing to take me back into her home while I can't afford my own place right now, but because I did have my own place for 2 years I have a lot of stuff that just doesn't fit all into one room. Well, if I'm going to get up at 6 tomorrow morning I guess I should try to get some sleep now.