Tornado

My sadness continues over this week. I want to clarify that I am not depressed or anything like that...I just keep having a chain of events that is hard to deal with. I have been so strong today and kept my emotions back and kept on going like nothing was wrong, but on the inside..I wanted to burst into tears, my heart was beating so fast, I had butterflies in my stomach, and I have literally felt sick all day. I've had problems with my appetite lately...I go all day feeling full even though I didn't eat anything. Today's matters definately did not help that situation at all. I really would love to just tell all because that would help me feel a little better, but there are some people who I do not want to see what I write so instead of being paranoid all the time, I choose to keep it to myself and maybe write in my personal journal every thing I am wanting to say. Sometimes I take a look back at my life and wonder what the heck I was thinking in certain situations. I know what I am going through is my fault and I know God is here for me with open arms and no matter how much I may mess up, I know He will always help me find my way. I've watched the movie Facing The Giants a few times this month and everytime I just want to give up and throw in the towel...I make sure to say I will still love you Lord. I don't just say it to say it...I mean what I say. I also know that there is nothing impossible for the Lord. I just have to do my best and the Lord will take care of the rest. I look forward to the day when the skies open up and that trumpet sounds and Jesus is there to take us home. Well, I will quit my whinging now lol.